If you write one story, it may be bad; if you write a hundred, you have the odds in your favor.-Edgar Rice Burroughs
It seems as though summer is the only chance I get to write. Which is a shame, because I believe writing is like exercising. You need to keep doing it or else you lose the motivation. Since the Half-Jew, I have gone out with Big Nose, Mr. In-The-Closet, Tattoos, Native and NC. And of course the fling with Crush. I feel like each one deserves their own post. So I shall try to do just that.
Showing posts with label Big Nose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Nose. Show all posts
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My Driving Trip with Big Nose
Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go. – The Wonder Years
There are a few expectations I had for Colorado. #1: Denver is so large, you aren't going to run into people you know all the time. Specifically, people you have slept with.
So much for that expectation. I was driving to see my aunt for an evening concert in the park. I have to leave pretty early to somewhat avoid traffic. Although, to be honest, I never can avoid it.
I'm driving along..when BAM. Traffic. It comes to a stop. Fine...whatever. I have my music....There is an SUV in front of me, with a familiar turtle sticker. I think, "Hmm, I've seen that before. Wait, I've been in that car before." Oh shit. It's him. Big Nose. Really?! He doesn't live around here. He doesn't work around here. What the hell?? Out of all the people I could see?! There is so much traffic that I am sure I can lose him, without him noticing me.
Hopeful thinking.
At one point, I've passed him, and then he passes me. SHIT. I watched him, and he was clearly looking in his rear view mirror. I passed him again, thinking, "Ok, this is it, I'm going to lose him." Nope. I watched with horror as the lane to my left sped up, while my lane slowed down. He passed me again, looking in his rear view mirror. He is relatively short, so I know when he has to sit all the way up in his seat and lean forward, he is checking out the rearview mirror. It made me nervous when I rode with him. I wanted to scream, "JUST ADJUST THE MIRROR!"
"Yes, dumbass, it's me. No doubt about it. How many people do you see driving around with NC plates??" This continued for at least 20 minutes, maybe longer. It sure did feel longer. I passed him. He passed me. All the while, I pretended not to notice him. But, he clearly knew it was me. I could feel his eyes burning holes in me.
To my point:
He is the one that blew me off. Not me. HIM. I'm not going to wave and smile, and act like everything is OK. Because its not. He blew me off. I don't play. My aunt and I actually had a conversation about people who are unreliable. She asked me, 'How come you always come when you say you will, but my other friends don't?" Easy answer, "One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blows me off. So, I'm not about to do it to someone else."
I'm thrilled. "It's a great hair day. I feel skinny. My make up looks great. I'm wearing my sexy sunglasses. I look hot. So take that, Big Nose! You are missing out!"
I finally took my exit, losing him.....
How is it possible that I can run into people I know, in this massive city?! I mean, COME ON! Give me a break. I had finally forgotten about him...and then BAM. He's there.
The article from earlier today put things into perspective though. I've let go of him, of that bar. I'm flying now. No going back. No going back, trying to grab that bar. It's gone. And if I try to reach for it, I will surely fall....and I'm not willing to fall. I'm waiting for the next bar....
Peace out Big Nose.
There are a few expectations I had for Colorado. #1: Denver is so large, you aren't going to run into people you know all the time. Specifically, people you have slept with.
So much for that expectation. I was driving to see my aunt for an evening concert in the park. I have to leave pretty early to somewhat avoid traffic. Although, to be honest, I never can avoid it.
I'm driving along..when BAM. Traffic. It comes to a stop. Fine...whatever. I have my music....There is an SUV in front of me, with a familiar turtle sticker. I think, "Hmm, I've seen that before. Wait, I've been in that car before." Oh shit. It's him. Big Nose. Really?! He doesn't live around here. He doesn't work around here. What the hell?? Out of all the people I could see?! There is so much traffic that I am sure I can lose him, without him noticing me.
Hopeful thinking.
At one point, I've passed him, and then he passes me. SHIT. I watched him, and he was clearly looking in his rear view mirror. I passed him again, thinking, "Ok, this is it, I'm going to lose him." Nope. I watched with horror as the lane to my left sped up, while my lane slowed down. He passed me again, looking in his rear view mirror. He is relatively short, so I know when he has to sit all the way up in his seat and lean forward, he is checking out the rearview mirror. It made me nervous when I rode with him. I wanted to scream, "JUST ADJUST THE MIRROR!"
"Yes, dumbass, it's me. No doubt about it. How many people do you see driving around with NC plates??" This continued for at least 20 minutes, maybe longer. It sure did feel longer. I passed him. He passed me. All the while, I pretended not to notice him. But, he clearly knew it was me. I could feel his eyes burning holes in me.
To my point:
He is the one that blew me off. Not me. HIM. I'm not going to wave and smile, and act like everything is OK. Because its not. He blew me off. I don't play. My aunt and I actually had a conversation about people who are unreliable. She asked me, 'How come you always come when you say you will, but my other friends don't?" Easy answer, "One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blows me off. So, I'm not about to do it to someone else."
I'm thrilled. "It's a great hair day. I feel skinny. My make up looks great. I'm wearing my sexy sunglasses. I look hot. So take that, Big Nose! You are missing out!"
I finally took my exit, losing him.....
How is it possible that I can run into people I know, in this massive city?! I mean, COME ON! Give me a break. I had finally forgotten about him...and then BAM. He's there.
The article from earlier today put things into perspective though. I've let go of him, of that bar. I'm flying now. No going back. No going back, trying to grab that bar. It's gone. And if I try to reach for it, I will surely fall....and I'm not willing to fall. I'm waiting for the next bar....
Peace out Big Nose.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
My Evening without Big Nose
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. -Friedrich Nietzsche
So tonight didn't happen with Big Nose. Surprisingly, I'm not bummed about it. That should tell me something...
So tonight didn't happen with Big Nose. Surprisingly, I'm not bummed about it. That should tell me something...
My Date with Miami
Carrie: You have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better.
We were supposed to meet a while back. In fact, I was waiting on him, when he sent me a text saying he had been rear ended. I didn't believe him. But still made plans again with him the following week. Then my truck's brakes gave out. So I ditched him. Then we were supposed to meet again...and I canceled because I had a bad day.
So the night finally comes where I am going to meet him. It takes awhile to agree on a place to meet. But we do. I make the mistake of saying 9 or later. I should have just said 9. So I show up at 9. And wait. And wait some more. I saw Jew. I know! Small world. As I sat there waiting, I wrote a mini post on my phone. Mostly about Jew. I'll have to remember to transfer it to this...I do remember pointing out the fact that Big Nose and Jew have the same real name. Did I know that before? Did that occur to me before? Do I really think of them in my head as "Big Nose" and "Jew"??
An hour and half later...why did I wait? Well, I had blown him off the previous two times, so didn't mind. And what was I going to do on a Friday night? I'd rather be out somewhere...even if the creepy guy next to me is watching my every move like he is getting ready to pounce. Creepy. But still better than sitting at home...alone...watching my non-existent TV.
At one point, this guy walks up to the bartender and orders a drink. He reeks of cologne. And I pray it isn't him. I try to remember what his profile picture looked like..but all I can remember is Miami (where he is from). Turns out...to not be him. Thank god.
I get a text saying he is there. Well..no he isn't. No one has walked in in the past 10 minutes. So I tell him to come in. It takes a lifetime for him to come in. We say our hellos..and I point out the fact that it is 10:30. And I've just realized, he is the first guy I haven't hugged when meeting. He chuckles and says, "I know, I know." No apology. OK. Still..better than no TV. As we talk, I have to lean in because the music has all of a sudden gotten really loud. He smells like a tanning bed. He is dark, so I ask, "Do you tan?" Nope, just his lotion. HA. Miami is truly the best name for him. He is cute...and then I remember his pictures. This guy is the fat version of the guy online.
Then the conversation slowly turns into better than TV. He has a masters degree, in business. He is Italian (ah...maybe he really doesn't tan). He has a boat. He is making me laugh. Flirting. Great. Not such a bad evening after all.
Right.
He says he is going to the restroom. 10 minutes later, I find myself talking to a guy who could pass as a midget. I know he is trying to hit on me. I don't ignore him, because this is just too good. I turn to see where the hell Miami went, and I see him talking on the phone. Right, back to the midget. We joke about his "airplane" drink. Just as he was asking if I wanted to join him and his friends, Miami walks up. So, I politely decline.
Miami tells me that he was on the phone with his mom. Right. I ask what he does for a living. Something with IT...but he owns several businesses in Miami. And one of them happens to be a .....wait......I'm not making this up...it happens to be a strip club. I'm pretty sure I spit my drink out laughing so hard. You have GOT to be kidding me. "No, a strip a club." That might have been rude of me to laugh so hard. I mean, if you know what you are doing, I'm sure it brings in a lot of money.
We continue talking for a while, because this is just too entertaining. He says he is going to the bathroom. I wait. I use the bathroom. I order a water. Drink my water. Then pay my tab and leave. I send him a text. "Guess I've been blown off. So I'm headed home."
About an hour later he starts texting me. Saying he didn't blow me off, he was on the phone....right...and you don't tell me...because?? And then....But he would really like to come over to my place. "Right," I say in response. Which I guess to Miami that meant yes because the texts continue. At this point, I ignore them. Then he gets mean...and just doesn't stop. So I turn my phone off. I wake up this morning and at one point he says I invited him to my place (which I didn't). And he will wait on no one. so I should lose his number.
Wow. Dramatic ending.
I'm supposed to go out with Big Nose tonight. I'm pretty sure it won't be nearly as exciting as owning a strip club. But I think I will be OK.
We were supposed to meet a while back. In fact, I was waiting on him, when he sent me a text saying he had been rear ended. I didn't believe him. But still made plans again with him the following week. Then my truck's brakes gave out. So I ditched him. Then we were supposed to meet again...and I canceled because I had a bad day.
So the night finally comes where I am going to meet him. It takes awhile to agree on a place to meet. But we do. I make the mistake of saying 9 or later. I should have just said 9. So I show up at 9. And wait. And wait some more. I saw Jew. I know! Small world. As I sat there waiting, I wrote a mini post on my phone. Mostly about Jew. I'll have to remember to transfer it to this...I do remember pointing out the fact that Big Nose and Jew have the same real name. Did I know that before? Did that occur to me before? Do I really think of them in my head as "Big Nose" and "Jew"??
An hour and half later...why did I wait? Well, I had blown him off the previous two times, so didn't mind. And what was I going to do on a Friday night? I'd rather be out somewhere...even if the creepy guy next to me is watching my every move like he is getting ready to pounce. Creepy. But still better than sitting at home...alone...watching my non-existent TV.
At one point, this guy walks up to the bartender and orders a drink. He reeks of cologne. And I pray it isn't him. I try to remember what his profile picture looked like..but all I can remember is Miami (where he is from). Turns out...to not be him. Thank god.
I get a text saying he is there. Well..no he isn't. No one has walked in in the past 10 minutes. So I tell him to come in. It takes a lifetime for him to come in. We say our hellos..and I point out the fact that it is 10:30. And I've just realized, he is the first guy I haven't hugged when meeting. He chuckles and says, "I know, I know." No apology. OK. Still..better than no TV. As we talk, I have to lean in because the music has all of a sudden gotten really loud. He smells like a tanning bed. He is dark, so I ask, "Do you tan?" Nope, just his lotion. HA. Miami is truly the best name for him. He is cute...and then I remember his pictures. This guy is the fat version of the guy online.
Then the conversation slowly turns into better than TV. He has a masters degree, in business. He is Italian (ah...maybe he really doesn't tan). He has a boat. He is making me laugh. Flirting. Great. Not such a bad evening after all.
Right.
He says he is going to the restroom. 10 minutes later, I find myself talking to a guy who could pass as a midget. I know he is trying to hit on me. I don't ignore him, because this is just too good. I turn to see where the hell Miami went, and I see him talking on the phone. Right, back to the midget. We joke about his "airplane" drink. Just as he was asking if I wanted to join him and his friends, Miami walks up. So, I politely decline.
Miami tells me that he was on the phone with his mom. Right. I ask what he does for a living. Something with IT...but he owns several businesses in Miami. And one of them happens to be a .....wait......I'm not making this up...it happens to be a strip club. I'm pretty sure I spit my drink out laughing so hard. You have GOT to be kidding me. "No, a strip a club." That might have been rude of me to laugh so hard. I mean, if you know what you are doing, I'm sure it brings in a lot of money.
We continue talking for a while, because this is just too entertaining. He says he is going to the bathroom. I wait. I use the bathroom. I order a water. Drink my water. Then pay my tab and leave. I send him a text. "Guess I've been blown off. So I'm headed home."
About an hour later he starts texting me. Saying he didn't blow me off, he was on the phone....right...and you don't tell me...because?? And then....But he would really like to come over to my place. "Right," I say in response. Which I guess to Miami that meant yes because the texts continue. At this point, I ignore them. Then he gets mean...and just doesn't stop. So I turn my phone off. I wake up this morning and at one point he says I invited him to my place (which I didn't). And he will wait on no one. so I should lose his number.
Wow. Dramatic ending.
I'm supposed to go out with Big Nose tonight. I'm pretty sure it won't be nearly as exciting as owning a strip club. But I think I will be OK.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
My Third Date with Big Nose
"Attraction is not a choice." David DeAngelo
Big Nose is a fun guy. And I'm very attracted to him. It isn't really physical attraction. He isn't a hunk or anything. But he is confident and funny and charming. His profile even says it.
I invite him to a wine festival. The day of, he freaks because he remembers he has a ride to do the next morning. So he promises to sip only a few, and drive us back. Ok..
When he comes in, I immediately kiss him. Couldn't help it. Just had to. But I do manage to play it cool the whole day. Or so I think. We drive to the festival...maybe 30-45 minutes. Talk about all kinds of things that I don't even remember. But he keeps making me laugh. And I am deciding I like this guy. Even with his full back weird tattoo.
We get to the festival, taste a few, then run into my uncle and aunt. I can only imagine how awkward that must have been for him. But he played it cool. We stayed for about 3 hours. I of course, enjoyed all the wine I could get my hands on. We decide to leave, but maybe he should eat first. Of course the vendors don't have credit card machines like the wine sellers do. So no food there. My aunt even tried to give us cash which was strange and awkward. She clearly had more to drink than I did.
We end up eating at the outlet mall. Eh. I opened my big fat mouth and said I enjoy his company. But I have said it more than once..ya know how people like to repeat themselves after some wine. He said something along the lines of , "We are both in a place where we are recovering from previous relationships." I ignored the next part. He could have said , "We should keep this casual." Or he could have said, "I have to take it slow." Whatever it was, I ignored it. I do find out that his ex started seeing someone right after the divorce. Maybe he isn't over her. Because I'm learning too much about her.
Drive back to my place, conversation is great again. He makes me laugh over and over. He tells me he is a karaoke freak. Awesome! If he sings anything like he did the last time I saw him, I want to see it again! It was hilarious. Making a complete fool of yourself, with no hesitation.
Back to my apartment, have some fun before we decide to hit the pool. It was good, really good. So good, I had to wait a while to recover from it. He is a very giving man.
Hit the pool. Drink some wine. He has something on his trunks (oh and we aren't getting in the pool because it is over run by a family of 40), so he walks over to the water, does like a side plank move, wets his hand and rubs the stain out. There is clearly muscle I don't know about. Turns out he does the P90X thing. He tells me his ex had an issue with him being so muscular. We then spooned or whatever, his muscle put her head in an uncomfortable position. WHAT!? He he let himself go...for her. WHAT?! No wonder it ended in divorce. He tells me that there is a yoga DVD to this P90X thing, so of course I start grilling him about what kinds of poses there are. He does know what he is talking about. However, it doesn't end with corpse pose. I find that weird. That's what yoga is all about. You work to cleanse your body, and then relax. The relaxing is the best part. It clears your mind and opens your heart. P90x. Pff..
We decide this family of 40 is too much. So we hit the local bar (rolling eyes). He eats, and orders drinks. We talk. I find out he doesn't do PDA. So I tease him about that.
Walking back to the apartment, I find out that him and his ex have joint custody of the dogs. She typically keeps the one that she would go on runs with. (So she was allowed to be athletic, but not him). He shows me pictures of the dogs. And I say I would love to meet his. Husky. Looks like my former Alaskan Malamute.
He leaves early that night. 1am maybe. He thinks I'm upset about him leaving, but I assure him its ok. He can't miss his ride in the morning. He tells me karaoke on Thursday. Then says, "Maybe." sigh. Ok.
Goodnight.
Text him the next day, telling him hope he has a nice ride and a good work week. He tells me we will "play it by ear" about our plans. Today is Wednesday. I'm thinking there won't be a fourth date with Big Nose. I'm not texting or calling him. Let him come to me. I shouldn't have sent that text. I regret it. Obviously makes me look eager.
This could be a good thing. Because I do like him. And if he isn't ready, or won't be ready for while to get involved with someone, then I don't want to see him again. I'll just keep liking him more. And I know how I am. When I like someone, I LIKE them. Not like falling in love or anything. But its rare for me to develop feelings for people. And I can see it happening with this one.
I will keep you posted about a fourth date. Even though, I think I already know.
Big Nose is a fun guy. And I'm very attracted to him. It isn't really physical attraction. He isn't a hunk or anything. But he is confident and funny and charming. His profile even says it.
I invite him to a wine festival. The day of, he freaks because he remembers he has a ride to do the next morning. So he promises to sip only a few, and drive us back. Ok..
When he comes in, I immediately kiss him. Couldn't help it. Just had to. But I do manage to play it cool the whole day. Or so I think. We drive to the festival...maybe 30-45 minutes. Talk about all kinds of things that I don't even remember. But he keeps making me laugh. And I am deciding I like this guy. Even with his full back weird tattoo.
We get to the festival, taste a few, then run into my uncle and aunt. I can only imagine how awkward that must have been for him. But he played it cool. We stayed for about 3 hours. I of course, enjoyed all the wine I could get my hands on. We decide to leave, but maybe he should eat first. Of course the vendors don't have credit card machines like the wine sellers do. So no food there. My aunt even tried to give us cash which was strange and awkward. She clearly had more to drink than I did.
We end up eating at the outlet mall. Eh. I opened my big fat mouth and said I enjoy his company. But I have said it more than once..ya know how people like to repeat themselves after some wine. He said something along the lines of , "We are both in a place where we are recovering from previous relationships." I ignored the next part. He could have said , "We should keep this casual." Or he could have said, "I have to take it slow." Whatever it was, I ignored it. I do find out that his ex started seeing someone right after the divorce. Maybe he isn't over her. Because I'm learning too much about her.
Drive back to my place, conversation is great again. He makes me laugh over and over. He tells me he is a karaoke freak. Awesome! If he sings anything like he did the last time I saw him, I want to see it again! It was hilarious. Making a complete fool of yourself, with no hesitation.
Back to my apartment, have some fun before we decide to hit the pool. It was good, really good. So good, I had to wait a while to recover from it. He is a very giving man.
Hit the pool. Drink some wine. He has something on his trunks (oh and we aren't getting in the pool because it is over run by a family of 40), so he walks over to the water, does like a side plank move, wets his hand and rubs the stain out. There is clearly muscle I don't know about. Turns out he does the P90X thing. He tells me his ex had an issue with him being so muscular. We then spooned or whatever, his muscle put her head in an uncomfortable position. WHAT!? He he let himself go...for her. WHAT?! No wonder it ended in divorce. He tells me that there is a yoga DVD to this P90X thing, so of course I start grilling him about what kinds of poses there are. He does know what he is talking about. However, it doesn't end with corpse pose. I find that weird. That's what yoga is all about. You work to cleanse your body, and then relax. The relaxing is the best part. It clears your mind and opens your heart. P90x. Pff..
We decide this family of 40 is too much. So we hit the local bar (rolling eyes). He eats, and orders drinks. We talk. I find out he doesn't do PDA. So I tease him about that.
Walking back to the apartment, I find out that him and his ex have joint custody of the dogs. She typically keeps the one that she would go on runs with. (So she was allowed to be athletic, but not him). He shows me pictures of the dogs. And I say I would love to meet his. Husky. Looks like my former Alaskan Malamute.
He leaves early that night. 1am maybe. He thinks I'm upset about him leaving, but I assure him its ok. He can't miss his ride in the morning. He tells me karaoke on Thursday. Then says, "Maybe." sigh. Ok.
Goodnight.
Text him the next day, telling him hope he has a nice ride and a good work week. He tells me we will "play it by ear" about our plans. Today is Wednesday. I'm thinking there won't be a fourth date with Big Nose. I'm not texting or calling him. Let him come to me. I shouldn't have sent that text. I regret it. Obviously makes me look eager.
This could be a good thing. Because I do like him. And if he isn't ready, or won't be ready for while to get involved with someone, then I don't want to see him again. I'll just keep liking him more. And I know how I am. When I like someone, I LIKE them. Not like falling in love or anything. But its rare for me to develop feelings for people. And I can see it happening with this one.
I will keep you posted about a fourth date. Even though, I think I already know.
My Evening with the Jew
So, I started this blog thinking it was going to be about first dates. Well, that isn't realistic. What constitutes a date? Both people saying it is a date? Or just doing something spontaneous? This blog is going to turn into my life with men.
Ah. The Jew. If you don't know, which I'm quite sure you do, I am half Jewish. Technically, there is no such thing. But I am. It has always been this crazy funny inside joke with friends. The Jewish Princess. JP for short.
So there I am sitting at my local bar...(I know..I know)...it is a Wednesday. Early evening. I was supposed to meet someone maybe and got stood up. Can't remember exactly. Because, as I said before, the drinks come flying my way at that place. It's Poker Night. Fun. But I'm not there is gamble. I would like a drink, and then I would like to go home and continue the job search. I find the ONE empty seat, and see a yoga mat in front of it. Who leaves their yoga mat just sitting there? A gambler? A girl? I don't know. But there isn't a drink or any other sign someone is sitting there. So, I sit.
Went for beer that night. It was cheaper than my Red Bull habit. I'm watching the Rockies game and the St. Louis game. I'm in heaven. Both games are getting good. Even with my stupid glasses I still can't read the score, so I turn to the guy next to me, who happens to be the cook, and say, does that say 8 to 8? "No, 5 to 5". Why did I spend so much money on these things??
Few more beers, free shots later, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you are that Jewish girl."
"Um, what? That's creepy. How do you know that?"
"I saw your card the other night, and noticed the last name _____." An obvious Jewish last name. There is only one other time in my life someone pointed out they knew I was Jewish from last name. I was in 6th grade and it was my teacher. "Are you Jewish?" "Well, no, not really." Hard for a 6th grader to explain that her mother is Presbyterian and her father is Jewish. They are divorced. But somehow, she, I, got stuck with the name.
"Ah," I say.
"I'm Jewish too. My name is ____ Jewish Last Name". Interesting. Ok. Then..he starts speaking to me in Hebrew. And it's 6th grade all over again. Do I have to explain?
"I don't really know Hebrew."
"No, its cool. I was in Israel for a year." Score!
"What do you do?"
"I go to Johnson and Wales."
"No kidding. I have a friend that goes there...you may know her ________". This is getting strange. As she was my former boyfriends close friend. And Denver is too big of a city, I thought.
"Oh yeah, she is a sophomore."
"Yup, that's her alright. Well, I have to say, you are a good cook, because those quesadillas were killer the other night that you made. I had them when you weren't working, and there really was a big difference."
"Yeah, I know what I'm doing". Haha. A bit cocky. But whatever. He finds out more about me. We keep talking. He is funny. And charming. And tall. And a a Jew. And a cook. I mean come on. Cool guy. Then the bombshell. "So Jewish Princess, I am 21." eeek. Seriously? ugh.
But mind you, I'm having fun. I've just met two girls that work at the bar, and they are all friends. So we all end up drinking more together.
I find out that it was his yoga mat and he does yoga there on Wednesdays and then comes up for a drink while his buddy plays poker.
At one point in the evening, "So Jewish Princess, do you smoke pot?" Granted. He doesn't really call me Jewish Princess. He says my name, my whole name...every time. Sigh.....no. I don't. And sometimes I wonder if I didn't turn out to be a teacher if I would. I mean. It's pot. It isn't heroine or crack. It's pot. But I don't. So there you have it. He isn't bothered by it at all. And I'm not bothered by the fact that he leaves with his buddy every 30 minutes and returns more buzzed. Its quite funny actually.
At one point, we are all standing around, and he comes up behind me and does some trick with matches. Ha. Great. Immature. But I'm totally entertained by this kid.
At another point I believe he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Or something. Maybe he was going to show me something, like the fireplace. I don't recall. But we do make it down to the grill area where there is a fire place. We make out. I love how every single one of my friends has a different definition for "making out". I have my own. I'm not telling you though, because then I would have to kill you.
As it gets later, somehow or another him and his roommate and I are going back to my place. And I think it was to pick up a bottle of wine and go hang out with the other girls. We get into my place, and I go to use the restroom. When I come out, they are gone. REALLY! What is that about? I shrug it off, and go to bed. I wake up in the morning and replay the previous evening events. Oh no. What if they stole something?! I look around. There isn't much to steal. Especially nothing of value. Then I remember the wine. I open my wine cabinet and look. I don't really know how many bottles I have. And I can't really tell if any is missing. Oh well.
I promised the girls that I would come back up to the bar that afternoon for lunch because they told me Thursdays day shifts are horribly boring. And what do I have to do?
Hanging out up there, the Jew and his buddy come walking..almost running in towards me.
"Thank god you are here. We really hoped you would be here."
"Umm, ok. Here I am."
"We did something really bad last night." Ya think? You left my place while I was peeing.
"No. Worse than that."
Jew walks up with his back pack, and can't even look me in the face.
"What the hell did you take?"
Buddy pulls out a bottle of chard from NC that I was saving..along with my FAVORITE wine tool and says, "We took this." Really? You took one of the FEW white wines I have that wasn't chilled...why not take a red? Weirdos.
Best part though. The wine wasn't opened. They had enough sense to run out of my place with my wine..but not enough sense to drink it? Or enough guilt to not drink it?
Weird. Weird. Weird boys. That's what you get for hanging out with someone that young. The girls are highly amused by it. And quite frankly, I was having a horrible day. So I was amused too. I lost my keys that night (found them under my mat int he entry way...guess I dropped them. I also lost my glasses that night. I will get to that later...
On my third date with Big Nose, we ended up at that bar. And Jew was just getting off. I put up my hand and waved. Hi Jewish Princess. I told Big Nose the story earlier that day (minus the making out part). He asked, "is that one of the wine thieves?" Haha. How'd he know? Big Nose and I decide to walk around. And I stop by the grill pit. I wonder....and sure enough MY GLASSES! I went several days without those things. I can't believe they sat there that long. There were flip flops and a shirt sitting there too. Hmm..makes ya wonder how many girls Jew brings down there. Also makes me wonder if Big Nose figured out what I was really up to that night. We'll see if there is a fourth date with Big Nose.
Tomorrow is Wednesday. I wonder if there will be another Jew Wine Stealing Evening.
Ah. The Jew. If you don't know, which I'm quite sure you do, I am half Jewish. Technically, there is no such thing. But I am. It has always been this crazy funny inside joke with friends. The Jewish Princess. JP for short.
So there I am sitting at my local bar...(I know..I know)...it is a Wednesday. Early evening. I was supposed to meet someone maybe and got stood up. Can't remember exactly. Because, as I said before, the drinks come flying my way at that place. It's Poker Night. Fun. But I'm not there is gamble. I would like a drink, and then I would like to go home and continue the job search. I find the ONE empty seat, and see a yoga mat in front of it. Who leaves their yoga mat just sitting there? A gambler? A girl? I don't know. But there isn't a drink or any other sign someone is sitting there. So, I sit.
Went for beer that night. It was cheaper than my Red Bull habit. I'm watching the Rockies game and the St. Louis game. I'm in heaven. Both games are getting good. Even with my stupid glasses I still can't read the score, so I turn to the guy next to me, who happens to be the cook, and say, does that say 8 to 8? "No, 5 to 5". Why did I spend so much money on these things??
Few more beers, free shots later, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you are that Jewish girl."
"Um, what? That's creepy. How do you know that?"
"I saw your card the other night, and noticed the last name _____." An obvious Jewish last name. There is only one other time in my life someone pointed out they knew I was Jewish from last name. I was in 6th grade and it was my teacher. "Are you Jewish?" "Well, no, not really." Hard for a 6th grader to explain that her mother is Presbyterian and her father is Jewish. They are divorced. But somehow, she, I, got stuck with the name.
"Ah," I say.
"I'm Jewish too. My name is ____ Jewish Last Name". Interesting. Ok. Then..he starts speaking to me in Hebrew. And it's 6th grade all over again. Do I have to explain?
"I don't really know Hebrew."
"No, its cool. I was in Israel for a year." Score!
"What do you do?"
"I go to Johnson and Wales."
"No kidding. I have a friend that goes there...you may know her ________". This is getting strange. As she was my former boyfriends close friend. And Denver is too big of a city, I thought.
"Oh yeah, she is a sophomore."
"Yup, that's her alright. Well, I have to say, you are a good cook, because those quesadillas were killer the other night that you made. I had them when you weren't working, and there really was a big difference."
"Yeah, I know what I'm doing". Haha. A bit cocky. But whatever. He finds out more about me. We keep talking. He is funny. And charming. And tall. And a a Jew. And a cook. I mean come on. Cool guy. Then the bombshell. "So Jewish Princess, I am 21." eeek. Seriously? ugh.
But mind you, I'm having fun. I've just met two girls that work at the bar, and they are all friends. So we all end up drinking more together.
I find out that it was his yoga mat and he does yoga there on Wednesdays and then comes up for a drink while his buddy plays poker.
At one point in the evening, "So Jewish Princess, do you smoke pot?" Granted. He doesn't really call me Jewish Princess. He says my name, my whole name...every time. Sigh.....no. I don't. And sometimes I wonder if I didn't turn out to be a teacher if I would. I mean. It's pot. It isn't heroine or crack. It's pot. But I don't. So there you have it. He isn't bothered by it at all. And I'm not bothered by the fact that he leaves with his buddy every 30 minutes and returns more buzzed. Its quite funny actually.
At one point, we are all standing around, and he comes up behind me and does some trick with matches. Ha. Great. Immature. But I'm totally entertained by this kid.
At another point I believe he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Or something. Maybe he was going to show me something, like the fireplace. I don't recall. But we do make it down to the grill area where there is a fire place. We make out. I love how every single one of my friends has a different definition for "making out". I have my own. I'm not telling you though, because then I would have to kill you.
As it gets later, somehow or another him and his roommate and I are going back to my place. And I think it was to pick up a bottle of wine and go hang out with the other girls. We get into my place, and I go to use the restroom. When I come out, they are gone. REALLY! What is that about? I shrug it off, and go to bed. I wake up in the morning and replay the previous evening events. Oh no. What if they stole something?! I look around. There isn't much to steal. Especially nothing of value. Then I remember the wine. I open my wine cabinet and look. I don't really know how many bottles I have. And I can't really tell if any is missing. Oh well.
I promised the girls that I would come back up to the bar that afternoon for lunch because they told me Thursdays day shifts are horribly boring. And what do I have to do?
Hanging out up there, the Jew and his buddy come walking..almost running in towards me.
"Thank god you are here. We really hoped you would be here."
"Umm, ok. Here I am."
"We did something really bad last night." Ya think? You left my place while I was peeing.
"No. Worse than that."
Jew walks up with his back pack, and can't even look me in the face.
"What the hell did you take?"
Buddy pulls out a bottle of chard from NC that I was saving..along with my FAVORITE wine tool and says, "We took this." Really? You took one of the FEW white wines I have that wasn't chilled...why not take a red? Weirdos.
Best part though. The wine wasn't opened. They had enough sense to run out of my place with my wine..but not enough sense to drink it? Or enough guilt to not drink it?
Weird. Weird. Weird boys. That's what you get for hanging out with someone that young. The girls are highly amused by it. And quite frankly, I was having a horrible day. So I was amused too. I lost my keys that night (found them under my mat int he entry way...guess I dropped them. I also lost my glasses that night. I will get to that later...
On my third date with Big Nose, we ended up at that bar. And Jew was just getting off. I put up my hand and waved. Hi Jewish Princess. I told Big Nose the story earlier that day (minus the making out part). He asked, "is that one of the wine thieves?" Haha. How'd he know? Big Nose and I decide to walk around. And I stop by the grill pit. I wonder....and sure enough MY GLASSES! I went several days without those things. I can't believe they sat there that long. There were flip flops and a shirt sitting there too. Hmm..makes ya wonder how many girls Jew brings down there. Also makes me wonder if Big Nose figured out what I was really up to that night. We'll see if there is a fourth date with Big Nose.
Tomorrow is Wednesday. I wonder if there will be another Jew Wine Stealing Evening.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Second date with Big Nose
This time, we agree to meet at the same place, on that Friday when we really were supposed to meet. As I answer the door I introduce myself as Sober ******. I'm going to have to give myself a code name for this...I'll ponder that later. He laughs. Great laugh. And cute as can be.
I tell him that I don't remember much of our last meeting, so there is a good chance that we will be having repeat questions and answers. We decide this time it would be best to walk, not drive. I feel bad though because he has this awful burn on his leg from softball. But he assures me he is ok to walk. At one point he ran into a mirror of a van. Ha. Funny. But it made me feel even worse. Poor guy.
He hadn't eaten dinner that night. I had. So the tables were turned. He got drunk, and I was sober. He makes me laugh because he sings along to all the cheesy 90s rap songs, and even some current ones. He just didn't seem like the kind of guy that would know ALL the words to those songs. I mean, I didn't even know half the words. So he is a cute drunk. A happy cute drunk. The best kind.
We walk back to my place, and he holds my hand. Which is sweet. That usually doesn't happen with me. Guys don't just grab my hand and hold it. But he did. So that was nice. It's a long walk. That's a long time to hold hands. And if you know me, I don't even like to be hugged. But whatever. It was nice.
Get back to my place...same deal. Except...this time I'm the sober one. So it was much more fun for me to be in control.
Wake up the next morning and I see he has a full back tat. And this could be giving out a lot of personal information by writing about this...but let's just say it was an X-Men. I tried my hardest not to laugh out loud. And asked, is this tat what I think it is? "Yes, you don't remember from last Friday?" Well of course not, I was smashed! Very funny...and I want to sneak and take a pic of it...but that isn't so easy. It was nice waking up with him there, instead of him leaving. And he didn't want to leave. More messing around. And it's fantastic.
Turns out..I actually had to kick him out at 8 am because I had a date with another guy who would be there in two hours. And I told that guy I don't kiss on the first date (AND I DON'T-except with Big Nose I did..) so you can imagine me panicking thinking they would run into each other. So sadly, I had to push Big Nose out the door. I really want to call him by the X-men name. I wonder if I called it out during sex if it would turn him on? Ha.
I tell him that I don't remember much of our last meeting, so there is a good chance that we will be having repeat questions and answers. We decide this time it would be best to walk, not drive. I feel bad though because he has this awful burn on his leg from softball. But he assures me he is ok to walk. At one point he ran into a mirror of a van. Ha. Funny. But it made me feel even worse. Poor guy.
He hadn't eaten dinner that night. I had. So the tables were turned. He got drunk, and I was sober. He makes me laugh because he sings along to all the cheesy 90s rap songs, and even some current ones. He just didn't seem like the kind of guy that would know ALL the words to those songs. I mean, I didn't even know half the words. So he is a cute drunk. A happy cute drunk. The best kind.
We walk back to my place, and he holds my hand. Which is sweet. That usually doesn't happen with me. Guys don't just grab my hand and hold it. But he did. So that was nice. It's a long walk. That's a long time to hold hands. And if you know me, I don't even like to be hugged. But whatever. It was nice.
Get back to my place...same deal. Except...this time I'm the sober one. So it was much more fun for me to be in control.
Wake up the next morning and I see he has a full back tat. And this could be giving out a lot of personal information by writing about this...but let's just say it was an X-Men. I tried my hardest not to laugh out loud. And asked, is this tat what I think it is? "Yes, you don't remember from last Friday?" Well of course not, I was smashed! Very funny...and I want to sneak and take a pic of it...but that isn't so easy. It was nice waking up with him there, instead of him leaving. And he didn't want to leave. More messing around. And it's fantastic.
Turns out..I actually had to kick him out at 8 am because I had a date with another guy who would be there in two hours. And I told that guy I don't kiss on the first date (AND I DON'T-except with Big Nose I did..) so you can imagine me panicking thinking they would run into each other. So sadly, I had to push Big Nose out the door. I really want to call him by the X-men name. I wonder if I called it out during sex if it would turn him on? Ha.
First Date with Big Nose
Let me first start by saying I will never give out anyone's real name or information.
So, my first date with Big Nose.
We had planned on meeting in a week, on a Friday at my local cafe/bar. But on the Friday before, I discovered how many nice men there are in Denver willing to buy a girl a shot. Well, several Red Bull and Vodkas and many many shots later, I sent Big Nose a text. I wish I had saved those texts, because according to him, they were very hard to decipher. I ended up asking him to come meet me that night instead a week from then. He agreed, and somehow managed to find me through my typos via text.
We meet. Big Nose. Not so big big that it is unattractive. Just a big nose. And amazing hair. Amazing dark thick hair. I see him and give him a hug. He is my height...maybe an inch, half an inch taller (so he lied on his profile? Or I don't know my real height.) I believe we went to a private area to talk and drink some more. I found out later that I spilled my whole life story to him in that sitting, and he pretty much did the same thing. That's a big no-no in my book. But I blame it on the shots.
At some point I ended up kissing him. I'm sure he was grosed out because I am a smoker (currently on the path to quit-woohoo!!). So as the night ended he said he would follow me home to make sure I got in alright. Well, he did. But he didn't leave at the door. I pulled him in...and well things got heated. He said he had to leave around 2am maybe, and I thought, eh. OK. A one nighter. Not really my style (I say that grinning..and laughing, becuase I won't lie...it happens).
I'm in target shopping the next morning, when he sends me a text. "Mornin" whoa. Shocker. I had to ask him a few questions about what happened because I couldn't remember all the details. But, he said he wanted to get together again. Hmm...not a typical guy in my opinion, at least not from experience. I agreed to the second date....which I will write about more later...as the stories just get better and better from Big Nose.
My advice girls: don't drink and text. I want an app on my phone that asks me a series of questions to find out how drunk I am. If I am over the legal limit-it won't let me text a dude. And obviously don't drink and drive. He said I was doing 50 in a 25. Thank god I didn't get busted for that.
So, my first date with Big Nose.
We had planned on meeting in a week, on a Friday at my local cafe/bar. But on the Friday before, I discovered how many nice men there are in Denver willing to buy a girl a shot. Well, several Red Bull and Vodkas and many many shots later, I sent Big Nose a text. I wish I had saved those texts, because according to him, they were very hard to decipher. I ended up asking him to come meet me that night instead a week from then. He agreed, and somehow managed to find me through my typos via text.
We meet. Big Nose. Not so big big that it is unattractive. Just a big nose. And amazing hair. Amazing dark thick hair. I see him and give him a hug. He is my height...maybe an inch, half an inch taller (so he lied on his profile? Or I don't know my real height.) I believe we went to a private area to talk and drink some more. I found out later that I spilled my whole life story to him in that sitting, and he pretty much did the same thing. That's a big no-no in my book. But I blame it on the shots.
At some point I ended up kissing him. I'm sure he was grosed out because I am a smoker (currently on the path to quit-woohoo!!). So as the night ended he said he would follow me home to make sure I got in alright. Well, he did. But he didn't leave at the door. I pulled him in...and well things got heated. He said he had to leave around 2am maybe, and I thought, eh. OK. A one nighter. Not really my style (I say that grinning..and laughing, becuase I won't lie...it happens).
I'm in target shopping the next morning, when he sends me a text. "Mornin" whoa. Shocker. I had to ask him a few questions about what happened because I couldn't remember all the details. But, he said he wanted to get together again. Hmm...not a typical guy in my opinion, at least not from experience. I agreed to the second date....which I will write about more later...as the stories just get better and better from Big Nose.
My advice girls: don't drink and text. I want an app on my phone that asks me a series of questions to find out how drunk I am. If I am over the legal limit-it won't let me text a dude. And obviously don't drink and drive. He said I was doing 50 in a 25. Thank god I didn't get busted for that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)