My Evening with Geek

A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark. -Dante Alighieri

I explored downtown yesterday.  It made me realize how much I hate traffic.  Why did I think a Friday afternoon would be a good time to explore downtown?  Stupid.  But guess who I ran into?!  Jew!  I mean really, buddy.  This town isn't big enough for the both of us. I managed to make it home safely.  Not doing that again. 

Geek and I have been talking since before I moved out here.  He calls himself a geek so I'm rolling with it. We've tried meeting before, but something always came up for one or both of us.  So yesterday when he sent me a text asking if I wanted to get together for drinks, I jumped at the chance.  Although, I have to tell you, I'm getting kind of sick of all these first dates.  My best friend reminded me that it is all about experience.  So going into this date, I wasn't overly excited.  But happy to finally be meeting this guy I had been talking to for two months. 


We met at a local bar. When Geek walked in, he immediately walked over to me. I had no question about who he was. We enjoyed a few beers, had some food and decided to go for a walk. We watched the sun set over the mountains.  So cheesy.  But it was nice.  He led the conversation which put me at ease.  After the sun set, we called it a night and went to pay our tabs.  He managed to pay for mine without me noticing.  That was very nice of him.  I walked him to his car and gave him a hug and headed back to my place. Overall, it was a nice date.  He wasn't pushy and he didn't insult me like Miami did.   

I'm not sure if I would go out with Geek again.  He was very nice and I was very comfortable around him.  But there weren't any sparks.  I'm looking for sparks.  Maybe not fireworks, but there has to be something there.  And there just wasn't with Geek.  Oh well....

My Date with Miami

Carrie: You have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better.


We were supposed to meet a while back.  In fact, I was waiting on him, when he sent me a text saying he had been rear ended.  I didn't believe him.  But still made plans again with him the following week.  Then my truck's brakes gave out.  So I ditched him.  Then we were supposed to meet again...and I canceled because I had a bad day.

So the night finally comes where I am going to meet him.  It takes awhile to agree on a place to meet.  But we do. I make the mistake of saying 9 or later.  I should have just said 9.  So I show up at 9.  And wait.  And wait some more.  I saw Jew.  I know! Small world.  As I sat there waiting, I wrote a mini post on my phone.  Mostly about Jew.  I'll have to remember to transfer it to this...I do remember pointing out the fact that Big Nose and Jew have the same real name.  Did I know that before?  Did that occur to me before?  Do I really think of them in my head as "Big Nose" and "Jew"??

An hour and half later...why did I wait?  Well, I had blown him off the previous two times, so didn't mind.  And what was I going to do on a Friday night?  I'd rather be out somewhere...even if the creepy guy next to me is watching my every move like he is getting ready to pounce.  Creepy.  But still better than sitting at home...alone...watching my non-existent TV.

At one point, this guy walks up to the bartender and orders a drink.  He reeks of cologne.  And I pray it isn't him.  I try to remember what his profile picture looked like..but all I can remember is Miami (where he is from). Turns out...to not be him.  Thank god.

I get a text saying he is there. Well..no he isn't.  No one has walked in in the past 10 minutes.  So I tell him to come in.  It takes a lifetime for him to come in.  We say our hellos..and I point out the fact that it is 10:30. And I've just realized, he is the first guy I haven't hugged when meeting. He chuckles and says, "I know, I know."  No apology.  OK.  Still..better than no TV.  As we talk, I have to lean in because the music has all of a sudden gotten really loud.  He smells like a tanning bed.  He is dark, so I ask, "Do you tan?"  Nope, just his lotion.  HA.  Miami is truly the best name for him.  He is cute...and then I remember his pictures.  This guy is the fat version of the guy online.

Then the conversation slowly turns into better than TV.  He has a masters degree, in business. He is Italian (ah...maybe he really doesn't tan). He has a boat.  He is making me laugh. Flirting.  Great.  Not such a bad evening after all.

Right.

He says he is going to the restroom.  10 minutes later, I find myself talking to a guy who could pass as a midget.  I know he is trying to hit on me.  I don't ignore him, because this is just too good.  I turn to see where the hell Miami went, and I see him talking on the phone.  Right, back to the midget.  We joke about his "airplane" drink. Just as he was asking if I wanted to join him and his friends, Miami walks up.  So, I politely decline. 

Miami tells me that he was on the phone with his mom. Right. I ask what he does for a living.  Something with IT...but he owns several businesses in Miami.  And one of them happens to be a .....wait......I'm not making this up...it happens to be a strip club.  I'm pretty sure I spit my drink out laughing so hard.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  "No, a strip a club."  That might have been rude of me to laugh so hard.  I mean, if you know what you are doing, I'm sure it brings in a lot of money.

We continue talking for a while, because this is just too entertaining.  He says he is going to the bathroom.  I wait.  I use the bathroom.  I order a water.  Drink my water.  Then pay my tab and leave.  I send him a text.  "Guess I've been blown off.  So I'm headed home." 

About an hour later he starts texting me.  Saying he didn't blow me off, he was on the phone....right...and you don't tell me...because?? And then....But he would really like to come over to my place.  "Right," I say in response.  Which I guess to Miami that meant yes because the texts continue. At this point, I ignore them.  Then he gets mean...and just doesn't stop.  So I turn my phone off.  I wake up this morning and at one point he says I invited him to my place (which I didn't).  And he will wait on no one.  so I should lose his number.

Wow. Dramatic ending. 

I'm supposed to go out with Big Nose tonight.  I'm pretty sure it won't be nearly as exciting as owning a strip club.  But I think I will be OK.

My Evening with the Jew

So, I started this blog thinking it was going to be about first dates.  Well, that isn't realistic.  What constitutes a date?  Both people saying it is a date?  Or just doing something spontaneous?  This blog is going to turn into my life with men.

Ah.  The Jew.  If you don't know, which I'm quite sure you do, I am half Jewish.  Technically, there is no such thing.  But I am.  It has always been this crazy funny inside joke with friends.  The Jewish Princess.  JP for short.

So there I am sitting at my local bar...(I know..I know)...it is a Wednesday.  Early evening.  I was supposed to meet someone maybe and got stood up.  Can't remember exactly.  Because, as I said before, the drinks come flying my way at that place.  It's Poker Night.  Fun.  But I'm not there is gamble.  I would like a drink, and then I would like to go home and continue the job search.  I find the ONE empty seat, and see a yoga mat in front of it.  Who leaves their yoga mat just sitting there?  A gambler?  A girl?  I don't know.  But there isn't a drink or any other sign someone is sitting there.  So, I sit.

Went for beer that night.  It was cheaper than my Red Bull habit.  I'm watching the Rockies game and the St. Louis game.  I'm in heaven.  Both games are getting good.  Even with my stupid glasses I still can't read the score, so I turn to the guy next to me, who happens to be the cook, and say, does that say 8 to 8?  "No, 5 to 5". Why did I spend so much money on these things??

Few more beers, free shots later, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you are that Jewish girl."

"Um, what?  That's creepy.  How do you know that?"

"I saw your card the other night, and noticed the last name _____."  An obvious Jewish last name.  There is only one other time in my life someone pointed out they knew I was Jewish from last name.  I was in 6th grade and it was my teacher.  "Are you Jewish?" "Well, no, not really." Hard for a 6th grader to explain that her mother is Presbyterian and her father is Jewish.  They are divorced.  But somehow, she, I, got stuck with the name.

"Ah," I say.

"I'm Jewish too.  My name is ____ Jewish Last Name". Interesting.  Ok. Then..he starts speaking to me in Hebrew.  And it's 6th grade all over again. Do I have to explain?

"I don't really know Hebrew."

"No, its cool.  I was in Israel for a year." Score! 

"What do you do?"

"I go to Johnson and Wales."

"No kidding. I have a friend that goes there...you may know her ________".  This is getting strange.  As she was my former boyfriends close friend.  And Denver is too big of a city, I thought.

"Oh yeah, she is a sophomore."

"Yup, that's her alright. Well, I have to say, you are a good cook, because those quesadillas were killer the other night that you made.  I had them when you weren't working, and there really was a big difference."

"Yeah, I know what I'm doing".  Haha.  A bit cocky.  But whatever.  He finds out more about me.  We keep talking.  He is funny.  And charming.  And tall.  And a a Jew.  And a cook.  I mean come on.  Cool guy.  Then the bombshell.  "So Jewish Princess, I am 21." eeek.  Seriously?  ugh.

But mind you, I'm having fun.  I've just met two girls that work at the bar, and they are all friends.  So we all end up drinking more together.

I find out that it was his yoga mat and he does yoga there on Wednesdays and then comes up for a drink while his buddy plays poker.

At one point in the evening, "So Jewish Princess, do you smoke pot?"  Granted.  He doesn't really call me Jewish Princess.  He says my name, my whole name...every time. Sigh.....no.  I don't.  And sometimes I wonder if I didn't turn out to be a teacher if I would.  I mean.  It's pot.  It isn't heroine or crack.  It's pot.  But I don't.  So there you have it.  He isn't bothered by it at all.  And I'm not bothered by the fact that he leaves with his buddy every 30 minutes and returns more buzzed.  Its quite funny actually.

At one point, we are all standing around, and he comes up behind me and does some trick with matches.  Ha. Great.  Immature.  But I'm totally entertained by this kid.

At another point I believe he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk.  Or something.  Maybe he was going to show me something, like the fireplace.  I don't recall.  But we do make it down to the grill area where there is a fire place.  We make out.  I love how every single one of my friends has a different definition for "making out".  I have my own.  I'm not telling you though, because then I would have to kill you.

As it gets later, somehow or another him and his roommate and I are going back to my place.  And I think it was to pick up a bottle of wine and go hang out with the other girls.  We get into my place, and I go to use the restroom.  When I come out, they are gone.  REALLY!  What is that about?  I shrug it off, and go to bed.  I wake up in the morning and replay the previous evening events.  Oh no.  What if they stole something?! I look around.  There isn't much to steal.  Especially nothing of value.  Then I remember the wine.  I open my wine cabinet and look.  I don't really know how many bottles I have.  And I can't really tell if any is missing.  Oh well.

I promised the girls that I would come back up to the bar that afternoon for lunch because they told me Thursdays day shifts are horribly boring.  And what do I have to do?

Hanging out up there, the Jew and his buddy come walking..almost running in towards me.

"Thank god you are here. We really hoped you would be here."

"Umm, ok.  Here I am."

"We did something really bad last night." Ya think?  You left my place while I was peeing.

"No.  Worse than that."

Jew walks up with his back pack, and can't even look me in the face.

"What the hell did you take?"

Buddy pulls out a bottle of chard from NC that I was saving..along with my FAVORITE wine tool and says, "We took this."  Really?  You took one of the FEW white wines I have that wasn't chilled...why not take a red? Weirdos.

Best part though.  The wine wasn't opened.  They had enough sense to run out of my place with my wine..but not enough sense to drink it? Or enough guilt to not drink it?

Weird. Weird. Weird boys. That's what you get for hanging out with someone that young.  The girls are highly amused by it.  And quite frankly, I was having a horrible day.  So I was amused too. I lost my keys that night (found them under my mat int he entry way...guess I dropped them.  I also lost my glasses that night.  I will get to that later...

On my third date with Big Nose, we ended up at that bar.  And Jew was just getting off.  I put up my hand and waved. Hi Jewish Princess. I told Big Nose the story earlier that day (minus the making out part).  He asked, "is that one of the wine thieves?"  Haha.  How'd he know? Big Nose and I decide to walk around.  And I stop by the grill pit.  I wonder....and sure enough MY GLASSES!  I went several days without those things.  I can't believe they sat there that long.  There were flip flops and a shirt sitting there too.  Hmm..makes ya wonder how many girls Jew brings down there.  Also makes me wonder if Big Nose figured out what I was really up to that night.  We'll see if there is a fourth date with Big Nose. 

Tomorrow is Wednesday.  I wonder if there will be another Jew Wine Stealing Evening.