Saturday, July 30, 2011

My Evening without Big Nose

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. -Friedrich Nietzsche

So tonight didn't happen with Big Nose.  Surprisingly, I'm not bummed about it.  That should tell me something...

My Date with Miami

Carrie: You have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better.

We were supposed to meet a while back.  In fact, I was waiting on him, when he sent me a text saying he had been rear ended.  I didn't believe him.  But still made plans again with him the following week.  Then my truck's brakes gave out.  So I ditched him.  Then we were supposed to meet again...and I canceled because I had a bad day.

So the night finally comes where I am going to meet him.  It takes awhile to agree on a place to meet.  But we do. I make the mistake of saying 9 or later.  I should have just said 9.  So I show up at 9.  And wait.  And wait some more.  I saw Jew.  I know! Small world.  As I sat there waiting, I wrote a mini post on my phone.  Mostly about Jew.  I'll have to remember to transfer it to this...I do remember pointing out the fact that Big Nose and Jew have the same real name.  Did I know that before?  Did that occur to me before?  Do I really think of them in my head as "Big Nose" and "Jew"??

An hour and half later...why did I wait?  Well, I had blown him off the previous two times, so didn't mind.  And what was I going to do on a Friday night?  I'd rather be out somewhere...even if the creepy guy next to me is watching my every move like he is getting ready to pounce.  Creepy.  But still better than sitting at home...alone...watching my non-existent TV.

At one point, this guy walks up to the bartender and orders a drink.  He reeks of cologne.  And I pray it isn't him.  I try to remember what his profile picture looked like..but all I can remember is Miami (where he is from). Turns not be him.  Thank god.

I get a text saying he is there. he isn't.  No one has walked in in the past 10 minutes.  So I tell him to come in.  It takes a lifetime for him to come in.  We say our hellos..and I point out the fact that it is 10:30. And I've just realized, he is the first guy I haven't hugged when meeting. He chuckles and says, "I know, I know."  No apology.  OK.  Still..better than no TV.  As we talk, I have to lean in because the music has all of a sudden gotten really loud.  He smells like a tanning bed.  He is dark, so I ask, "Do you tan?"  Nope, just his lotion.  HA.  Miami is truly the best name for him.  He is cute...and then I remember his pictures.  This guy is the fat version of the guy online.

Then the conversation slowly turns into better than TV.  He has a masters degree, in business. He is Italian (ah...maybe he really doesn't tan). He has a boat.  He is making me laugh. Flirting.  Great.  Not such a bad evening after all.


He says he is going to the restroom.  10 minutes later, I find myself talking to a guy who could pass as a midget.  I know he is trying to hit on me.  I don't ignore him, because this is just too good.  I turn to see where the hell Miami went, and I see him talking on the phone.  Right, back to the midget.  We joke about his "airplane" drink. Just as he was asking if I wanted to join him and his friends, Miami walks up.  So, I politely decline. 

Miami tells me that he was on the phone with his mom. Right. I ask what he does for a living.  Something with IT...but he owns several businesses in Miami.  And one of them happens to be a .....wait......I'm not making this happens to be a strip club.  I'm pretty sure I spit my drink out laughing so hard.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  "No, a strip a club."  That might have been rude of me to laugh so hard.  I mean, if you know what you are doing, I'm sure it brings in a lot of money.

We continue talking for a while, because this is just too entertaining.  He says he is going to the bathroom.  I wait.  I use the bathroom.  I order a water.  Drink my water.  Then pay my tab and leave.  I send him a text.  "Guess I've been blown off.  So I'm headed home." 

About an hour later he starts texting me.  Saying he didn't blow me off, he was on the phone....right...and you don't tell me...because?? And then....But he would really like to come over to my place.  "Right," I say in response.  Which I guess to Miami that meant yes because the texts continue. At this point, I ignore them.  Then he gets mean...and just doesn't stop.  So I turn my phone off.  I wake up this morning and at one point he says I invited him to my place (which I didn't).  And he will wait on no one.  so I should lose his number.

Wow. Dramatic ending. 

I'm supposed to go out with Big Nose tonight.  I'm pretty sure it won't be nearly as exciting as owning a strip club.  But I think I will be OK.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Email from Jock

Just got a surprising email from Jock. He sort of apologized for not getting in touch with me sooner.

Went on a rant about his phone and family emergency.....

And wait.  It is Friday night.  Date night.  Is he just lonely?  Or is this a sincere apology? And WHY do I have to over analyze EVERYTHING?!

At the time, I did want to go out with him again.  But I kind of feel like this is a red flag.

What to do?

Well, I already have a date lined up for tonight.  So no need to make a decision now...

Thursday, July 28, 2011

At War with the Persian

"Love is temporary...but friends are forever." - Kelly Wheeler

It has been easy to give these guys fake names.  But not this one.  This one is tough.

And actually I'm leaving this as a draft because I'm not even really sure if I want it out there or not.

AHA!  Persian.  He is my Persian friend.  And I've adored him for 9 years.  Several of those years he was attached.  And the girl hated me.  With a passion.  She may have hated everyone for all I know because she was bat crazy.  But I'm pretty sure most of that hatred was pointed at me.

So we have always had this "thing".  I like him, he likes me.  But that's it.  Right before college ended I got into a serious relationship with Addict.  At my graduation party, Addict and Persian were there.  And Addict later told me he thought there was something between us but didn't want to come off as jealous by pointing it out. 

After college Persian and I sort of lost touch for a year, and then reconnected when I came back home for a job..leaving the Addict (for obvious reasons).

I know for sure we've been on one date, because that's what HE called it.  But I'd say there were many more, we just never actually called them that.

Once, he made me dinner for my birthday.  I was in heaven.  Not only was the food good, but he was great company.  That night it snowed (which at the time was rare for that area.) As my BFF roomy walks into us having dinner she has to inform us that it is snowing.  We were so wrapped up in each other, we didn't even realize it.  Of course, we went out and played in it.  Close to the perfect date.  Close to the best date ever.  But we never called it a "date".

Several weeks later, we went out for drinks.  I got loaded because I was so nervous around him.  Walking back to his car I managed to FALL in the middle of the street..with on coming traffic, laughing hysterically at my stupidity.  He quickly scooped me up before the head lights smashed into my face. At the next bar, I realized I had skinned up my knee pretty bad...and he leaned down and kissed it.  Maybe he was loaded too.  But I won't forget that.  

Our first kiss...was perfect.  Perfect.  He was gentle.  And held the back of my head.  He was confident, but not pushy.  We were in his car when he was taking me home one night. I invited him in.  And he stayed the night.  But we didn't do anything.   

We would go out every couple weeks.  Sometimes he would disappear for months at a time.  I recently asked him about that, and he said it was me that disappeared.  That really pissed me off.  Because I know it wasn't me.

So this went on for a couple years.  Go out..have a great time..probably kiss...and that's it.  So frustrating.  But I never let him stop me from seeing other people. 

Last year, maybe around October, we had our official "date".  He took me out for dinner and drinks.  He paid for everything.  We had a great time.  We kissed at the end of the night and I think he even stayed over..but no.  We did not have sex.  I asked him if he wanted to go out that next weekend and he said he had work to do. Fishing around on Stalkerbook a few weeks later, and really...not stalking HIM.  REALLY.  I was on his brother's page (who happens to also be my friend on Stalkerbook) when I noticed Persian's name.  I read the comment a girl posted. Something to the effect of, "It's been so nice seeing Persian lately.  He took me out last weekend-" the weekend he said he had work to do. Well fuck.  It isn't just me he is doing this to?!  Fuck.  I felt pretty shitty about that.  He lied and was seeing someone else. 

Then of course...he disappeared....or I stopped trying.  One of the two. I never did call him out on that lie.  I suppose I should have. 

I met someone else in December.  Little Lion Man. Who, I'm sure I will talk about eventually.  This is a blog about my dating life, and he was a huge part of it.

So I just stopped trying to get in touch with Persian.  I decided, That's it.  No more dragging me around.  Then of course when I stopped calling and texting, he started. A bunch of us went out right before my birthday (February) with friends. Right before Little Lion Man was coming to see me. Persian was part of the group that night. My BFF grilled him about how he shouldn't let a previous relationship (bat crazy girl) effect how he is living now.  He got pretty defensive.  And I believe she told him I had found someone else, so his chance with me was over.

He ended up at my house that night.  And we got into a huge fight about the same thing.  So we basically stopped talking.

Then, my relationship with Little Lion Man came to a drastic end in March.  I called Persian two nights after, crying.  He was on my doorstep within the hour.  And since, has been by my side. 

We ended up kissing again one night...this time it got more heavy.  But he would stop it.  Then we would continue.  Then I would stop it.  It was like a symbol of our relationship.  Tug of War.  So 9 years of adoring this man (for reasons I can't really understand)..we were never intimate.  NEVER.  Just kissed.  Did you get that?  9 years.  NINE.  I suppose I knew if I slept with him it would devastate me.  I would turn it into something entirely different than what he would turn it into.  I knew that.  And maybe he knew that too.

So here I am.  Living in a different "country" as he calls it.  We text every now and then.  I do want to keep in touch.  He was a friend to me when I needed one, even if there was some romantic tension.  We were texting one night.  Both bullshitting with each other, as we usually do.  When out of no where..he goes on this long dramatic rant about how I am just dragging him along and that I don't really keep in touch and I don't really care about him.  WHAT?  I fumed about it for all of five minutes.  He sent another text, "Then there was silence..."  I knew he was pushing my buttons.  He wanted me to go off on him.  Last year or last month I might have.  But I simply responded with, "I miss you."  And he said, "I'm glad you saw that as it was, sarcasm."

He has been supportive of everything I have done.  Even if he has been flaky at times...he was or is a good friend.  Not a best friend.  But a good friend.  And I do miss him.  I cried when I had to say goodbye to him.  (Not gut wrenching crying like when I said bye to my BFF.) I kind of knew I wouldn't see him again.  And if I do..well.  It will surprise me.

We went our separate ways.  That's all there is to it.  But there is only one other person that has given me "butterflies" like that, Little Lion Man...I hope one day I can find someone that makes me feel that way.  Even if he does royally piss me off.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Text from Perv

Perv and I have been texting for about a week now.  All fine and dandy.  And then today:

"Do you like sex?"

Didn't even respond to that one.  10 minutes later I get, "Guess not."

 Ugh.  Seriously?  What dumb girls have you been talking to that actually respond to that?  Do you like sex?  Really?!?!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My Third Date with Big Nose

"Attraction is not a choice." David DeAngelo

Big Nose is a fun guy.  And I'm very attracted to him.  It isn't really physical attraction.  He isn't a hunk or anything.  But he is confident and funny and charming.  His profile even says it.

I invite him to a wine festival.  The day of, he freaks because he remembers he has a ride to do the next morning.  So he promises to sip only a few, and drive us back. Ok..

When he comes in, I immediately kiss him.  Couldn't help it.  Just had to.  But I do manage to play it cool the whole day.  Or so I think.  We drive to the festival...maybe 30-45 minutes.  Talk about all kinds of things that I don't even remember.  But he keeps making me laugh.  And I am deciding I like this guy.  Even with his full back weird tattoo.

We get to the festival, taste a few, then run into my uncle and aunt.  I can only imagine how awkward that must have been for him.  But he played it cool.  We stayed for about 3 hours.  I of course, enjoyed all the wine I could get my hands on.  We decide to leave, but maybe he should eat first.  Of course the vendors don't have credit card machines like the wine sellers do.  So no food there.  My aunt even tried to give us cash which was strange and awkward.  She clearly had more to drink than I did.

We end up eating at the outlet mall.  Eh. I opened my big fat mouth and said I enjoy his company.  But I have said it more than once..ya know how people like to repeat themselves after some wine.  He said something along the lines of , "We are both in a place where we are recovering from previous relationships."  I ignored the next part.  He could have said , "We should keep this casual." Or he could have said, "I have to take it slow."  Whatever it was, I ignored it.  I do find out that his ex started seeing someone right after the divorce.  Maybe he isn't over her.  Because I'm learning too much about her. 

Drive back to my place, conversation is great again.  He makes me laugh over and over.  He tells me he is a karaoke freak. Awesome!  If he sings anything like he did the last time I saw him, I want to see it again!  It was hilarious.  Making a complete fool of yourself, with no hesitation.

Back to my apartment, have some fun before we decide to hit the pool.  It was good, really good. So good, I had to wait a while to recover from it.  He is a very giving man.

Hit the pool.  Drink some wine.  He has something on his trunks (oh and we aren't getting in the pool because it is over run by a family of 40), so he walks over to the water, does like a side plank move, wets his hand and rubs the stain out.  There is clearly muscle I don't know about.  Turns out he does the P90X thing.  He tells me his ex had an issue with him being so muscular.  We then spooned or whatever, his muscle put her head in an uncomfortable position. WHAT!? He he let himself go...for her.  WHAT?!  No wonder it ended in divorce.  He tells me that there is a yoga DVD to this P90X thing, so of course I start grilling him about what kinds of poses there are.  He does know what he is talking about.  However, it doesn't end with corpse pose.  I find that weird.  That's what yoga is all about.  You work to cleanse your body, and then relax.  The relaxing is the best part.  It clears your mind and opens your heart.  P90x.  Pff..

We decide this family of 40 is too much.  So we hit the local bar (rolling eyes).  He eats, and orders drinks.  We talk.  I find out he doesn't do PDA.  So I tease him about that.

Walking back to the apartment, I find out that him and his ex have joint custody of the dogs.  She typically keeps the one that she would go on runs with.  (So she was allowed to be athletic, but not him).  He shows me pictures of the dogs.  And I say I would love to meet his.  Husky.  Looks like my former Alaskan Malamute.

He leaves early that night.  1am maybe.  He thinks I'm upset about him leaving, but I assure him its ok.  He can't miss his ride in the morning.  He tells me karaoke on Thursday. Then says, "Maybe."  sigh.  Ok.


Text him the next day, telling him hope he has a nice ride and a good work week.  He tells me we will "play it by ear" about our plans.  Today is Wednesday.  I'm thinking there won't be a fourth date with Big Nose.  I'm not texting or calling him. Let him come to me.  I shouldn't have sent that text.  I regret it.  Obviously makes me look eager.

This could be a good thing.  Because I do like him.  And if he isn't ready, or won't be ready for while to get involved with someone, then I don't want to see him again.  I'll just keep liking him more.  And I know how I am.  When I like someone, I LIKE them.  Not like falling in love or anything.  But its rare for me to develop feelings for people.  And I can see it happening with this one.

I will keep you posted about a fourth date. Even though, I think I already know.

My First Date with Lineman

Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Hunting for ways to be engaging. Dissecting each detail when it's over to check for mistakes. Dating can make even the most confident person lose his cool.
KELLY STARLING, Ebony Magazine, May 2000

Ah.  The Lineman.  When I read that was his occupation on his profile, I  Looks hunky.  But most likely..not. 
Can you guess where we decided to meet?  Haha...the local bar.  And actually we had plans to go to The Nature and Science Museum the following day, but he wanted to meet me first.  

So of course he got there when I was with my girls, having my dramatic moment and laughing over the wine stealing event. 

His pictures online were kinda vague, so when this guy comes in, I whisper to L, "Could that be him?"  Yup.  

Holy cow he is CUTE!  He gets a drink and orders food.  I think we had planned on eating together, but food was not happening me for on this crap day.  So I watched him eat instead.  The conversation went well, actually it kept going.  Well is being nice.  Not the smartest guy in the world.  But so far, the cutest.  He was confident.  He talked about his job...working on power lines.  mmmm  intriguing.  ugh.  But he was nice, and I knew I would want to go out with him again.  

So we made plans to go the museum the next day.  There really isn't much more to say about him.  Just that he was cute.  He left early.  Saying he was tired.  And honestly, he seemed tired when he walked in.  I guess working on those power lines is hard work. 

Well the next day was just as crappy as the previous day for me.  So I sent him a text, and his first response (before I could tell him I couldn't go) was "I don't have enough money to pay for the both of us."  hmm.  Well no kidding, I wouldn't have enough money for the both of us either.  Its stupid expensive.  So I told him I couldn't go because of other reasons, but that I wouldn't expect him to pay for me.  I was just having a bad day, and would be bad company.  

Few days ago, I sent him a text.  No response. Ha.  There ya go.  

My First Date with Eyebrows

Dating is meant to be temporary. You don't want to be friends with just one person. You don't want to learn only one person's interests, ways, or habits. You don't want to discover how you react to just one person. Dating one person is like trying one new food. Pizza's great, but if you never tried anything else, you'd never know how supper hamburgers and hot dogs and tacos and chop suey are.

I met Eyebrows on the dating site.  He was honest and we had a good conversation on the phone right after meeting.  Which told me he was serious about getting together.  He has a daughter.  11.  eek.  But its ok.  I can roll with it.  He asked me if I had ever had Korean food.  And I hadn't.  Which is shocking, because I've had everything else.  

So we decide on lunch the next day at one of his favorite places.  Of course I get there before him.  I try reading the menu, but have no clue what any of it means. I see the pictures...but is it chicken? cat? dog?  I don't want to eat something I could love.  So I wait for him to get there to explain this mess of a menu to me.  (Oh-and they had sushi-$20!! Yeah right...)

He walks in, dressed nice, as he was on his lunch break.  He is cute.  But has female eyebrows.  And I can't help but look at them every time, strange looking.  Not bad, just strange.  Almost like C's brows when she gets loaded.  But whatever.  

He explains the menu to me.  And we have a great conversation.  We don't talk about previous relationships.  We mainly focus on the food and talk about what we are doing later.  I end up ordering a cold Sake, which was yummy.  I had no idea there was such a thing as cold Sake!  Yum. Yum. Yum.  The food was SO good.  I will be going back there.  I have no idea how much it was, because he was a gentleman and paid.  So...we go to leave.  Make no conversation about if we will get together again or not.  But we hug.  And go our separate ways.  

Then my day got bad.  As I'm pulling out of the parking lot, my trucks dings and says, "BRAKE FAILURE.  CHECK BRAKE SYSTEM".  Luckily the dealership was right down the road.  I managed to not hit anyone and pull in without hitting anything.  

Haven't heard back from eyebrows.  So weird.  I don't know what to think about this.  Keeps happening.  

That night I was supposed to have drinks with a Greek doctor.  Had to cancel on him because of the stupid truck. But he continues to text me.  So that might be my next date....

My Evening with the Jew

So, I started this blog thinking it was going to be about first dates.  Well, that isn't realistic.  What constitutes a date?  Both people saying it is a date?  Or just doing something spontaneous?  This blog is going to turn into my life with men.

Ah.  The Jew.  If you don't know, which I'm quite sure you do, I am half Jewish.  Technically, there is no such thing.  But I am.  It has always been this crazy funny inside joke with friends.  The Jewish Princess.  JP for short.

So there I am sitting at my local bar...(I know..I know) is a Wednesday.  Early evening.  I was supposed to meet someone maybe and got stood up.  Can't remember exactly.  Because, as I said before, the drinks come flying my way at that place.  It's Poker Night.  Fun.  But I'm not there is gamble.  I would like a drink, and then I would like to go home and continue the job search.  I find the ONE empty seat, and see a yoga mat in front of it.  Who leaves their yoga mat just sitting there?  A gambler?  A girl?  I don't know.  But there isn't a drink or any other sign someone is sitting there.  So, I sit.

Went for beer that night.  It was cheaper than my Red Bull habit.  I'm watching the Rockies game and the St. Louis game.  I'm in heaven.  Both games are getting good.  Even with my stupid glasses I still can't read the score, so I turn to the guy next to me, who happens to be the cook, and say, does that say 8 to 8?  "No, 5 to 5". Why did I spend so much money on these things??

Few more beers, free shots later, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you are that Jewish girl."

"Um, what?  That's creepy.  How do you know that?"

"I saw your card the other night, and noticed the last name _____."  An obvious Jewish last name.  There is only one other time in my life someone pointed out they knew I was Jewish from last name.  I was in 6th grade and it was my teacher.  "Are you Jewish?" "Well, no, not really." Hard for a 6th grader to explain that her mother is Presbyterian and her father is Jewish.  They are divorced.  But somehow, she, I, got stuck with the name.

"Ah," I say.

"I'm Jewish too.  My name is ____ Jewish Last Name". Interesting.  Ok. Then..he starts speaking to me in Hebrew.  And it's 6th grade all over again. Do I have to explain?

"I don't really know Hebrew."

"No, its cool.  I was in Israel for a year." Score! 

"What do you do?"

"I go to Johnson and Wales."

"No kidding. I have a friend that goes may know her ________".  This is getting strange.  As she was my former boyfriends close friend.  And Denver is too big of a city, I thought.

"Oh yeah, she is a sophomore."

"Yup, that's her alright. Well, I have to say, you are a good cook, because those quesadillas were killer the other night that you made.  I had them when you weren't working, and there really was a big difference."

"Yeah, I know what I'm doing".  Haha.  A bit cocky.  But whatever.  He finds out more about me.  We keep talking.  He is funny.  And charming.  And tall.  And a a Jew.  And a cook.  I mean come on.  Cool guy.  Then the bombshell.  "So Jewish Princess, I am 21." eeek.  Seriously?  ugh.

But mind you, I'm having fun.  I've just met two girls that work at the bar, and they are all friends.  So we all end up drinking more together.

I find out that it was his yoga mat and he does yoga there on Wednesdays and then comes up for a drink while his buddy plays poker.

At one point in the evening, "So Jewish Princess, do you smoke pot?"  Granted.  He doesn't really call me Jewish Princess.  He says my name, my whole name...every time.  I don't.  And sometimes I wonder if I didn't turn out to be a teacher if I would.  I mean.  It's pot.  It isn't heroine or crack.  It's pot.  But I don't.  So there you have it.  He isn't bothered by it at all.  And I'm not bothered by the fact that he leaves with his buddy every 30 minutes and returns more buzzed.  Its quite funny actually.

At one point, we are all standing around, and he comes up behind me and does some trick with matches.  Ha. Great.  Immature.  But I'm totally entertained by this kid.

At another point I believe he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk.  Or something.  Maybe he was going to show me something, like the fireplace.  I don't recall.  But we do make it down to the grill area where there is a fire place.  We make out.  I love how every single one of my friends has a different definition for "making out".  I have my own.  I'm not telling you though, because then I would have to kill you.

As it gets later, somehow or another him and his roommate and I are going back to my place.  And I think it was to pick up a bottle of wine and go hang out with the other girls.  We get into my place, and I go to use the restroom.  When I come out, they are gone.  REALLY!  What is that about?  I shrug it off, and go to bed.  I wake up in the morning and replay the previous evening events.  Oh no.  What if they stole something?! I look around.  There isn't much to steal.  Especially nothing of value.  Then I remember the wine.  I open my wine cabinet and look.  I don't really know how many bottles I have.  And I can't really tell if any is missing.  Oh well.

I promised the girls that I would come back up to the bar that afternoon for lunch because they told me Thursdays day shifts are horribly boring.  And what do I have to do?

Hanging out up there, the Jew and his buddy come walking..almost running in towards me.

"Thank god you are here. We really hoped you would be here."

"Umm, ok.  Here I am."

"We did something really bad last night." Ya think?  You left my place while I was peeing.

"No.  Worse than that."

Jew walks up with his back pack, and can't even look me in the face.

"What the hell did you take?"

Buddy pulls out a bottle of chard from NC that I was saving..along with my FAVORITE wine tool and says, "We took this."  Really?  You took one of the FEW white wines I have that wasn't chilled...why not take a red? Weirdos.

Best part though.  The wine wasn't opened.  They had enough sense to run out of my place with my wine..but not enough sense to drink it? Or enough guilt to not drink it?

Weird. Weird. Weird boys. That's what you get for hanging out with someone that young.  The girls are highly amused by it.  And quite frankly, I was having a horrible day.  So I was amused too. I lost my keys that night (found them under my mat int he entry way...guess I dropped them.  I also lost my glasses that night.  I will get to that later...

On my third date with Big Nose, we ended up at that bar.  And Jew was just getting off.  I put up my hand and waved. Hi Jewish Princess. I told Big Nose the story earlier that day (minus the making out part).  He asked, "is that one of the wine thieves?"  Haha.  How'd he know? Big Nose and I decide to walk around.  And I stop by the grill pit.  I wonder....and sure enough MY GLASSES!  I went several days without those things.  I can't believe they sat there that long.  There were flip flops and a shirt sitting there too.  Hmm..makes ya wonder how many girls Jew brings down there.  Also makes me wonder if Big Nose figured out what I was really up to that night.  We'll see if there is a fourth date with Big Nose. 

Tomorrow is Wednesday.  I wonder if there will be another Jew Wine Stealing Evening.

First Date with Skater.

Skater is my age.  So this is different.  Big Nose is two years older and Jock was 6 years older.  So I'm thinking, he is going to be a little more immature.

First, we agree to meet at my local bar, but he gets freaked by the hassle of the guard at the gate.  So instead, we meet at a more public bar.

I get there first.  Red excuse me...Monster and Vodka.  Bleh.   Chat it up with bartender.  Nice guy.  very nice guy.  He takes shots with his customers.  (Is that legal?)

So Skater sends me a text, I tell him I am at the bar.  He comes in.  Hug, nice to meet you...blah blah blah.  Super cute again.  A little taller than me.  Relatively skinny.  Which in my book is kind of a turn off.  But we get to talking.  He has a daughter.  8?  So he had her before he was legal to drink.  Eek.  He was in the Navy, but out now.  Living on the GI Bill...going to school.  Ok..sounds good.  We talk about our interests.  We get on the subject of books.  (And you probably aren't thinking I'm well read because my grammar is crap...but I am.)  He has read a lot of the same books I have.  We get into talking about The Dark Tower series and Anna Frank, and Dean Koontz and the classics.  He doesn't have cable..(neither do I).  He reads.  And sees his daughter every other weekend.  Oh and skater, because that's what he says he is. 

I like him.  A lot.  So far, best conversation I've had on a first date.  The whole reading thing.  It's a turn on.  It really is.  I love a guy that can just sit down and read.  Honestly haven't met a lot of them...

We talk about how we both love to hike.  We go ahead and make plans to do a 14er the next Sunday.  Sweet!  I explain to him that because we are both smokers (few more days until my quit date)..that we need to find the easiest one.  Told my dad about this and he said he did the easiest one and gave up half way through.  Ouch.  And he doesn't smoke.  

After his two beers he says he probably can't have anymore.  He says he has to be up early for work.  So I say we should get going.  Walk to the parking lot.  He has a truck, similar to my beast.  ANOTHER huge turn on.  A guy who drives a truck.  I understand in the next year or two, it won't be a turn on because they are a money pit.  But still.  And it's soooo similar to MINE.  Score!  I hug him, say goodnight drive safe, blah blah blah.  No kiss!  :)

As I pull into my apartment complex, I get a text.  "Nice to meet you...Wish you would've invited me over to hang out more though."

Me: What do you mean?
Skater: Just that...Seems like you ran away pretty quickly.
Me: No! I didn't. I thought we hit it off great!
Skater: Ok good...
Me: Were you looking to get lucky? ;)
Skater: Well I wouldnt turn you down.. EVER! But that isn't what I meant.
Me: Haha.
Skater: Were you looking to get lucky?  I'm not just a piece of meat ya know.. ;P
Me: haha. Oh I was all about get laid! lol Looking forward to Sunday.
Skater: Me too...
Me: drive safe and I look forward to talking to you again.

I mean COME ON.  I'm sure he was looking to get laid.  But we continued with our plans for the 14er.....until...I found out about the Wine Festival happening on Saturday.  No way I could do that hike with a hangover.  So I tell him that I would love to hang out again, but maybe just dinner.  He agrees.

Yea well.  I text him Sunday..through my hangover.  I'm going to tough it out, because this one READS.  He responds.  Then I ask if we are still on for dinner.  NO RESPONSE.  Really?  Ugh. I guess no second date with Skater.  Sucks.  He was cute and well read and responsible and drove a truck.  Ah well.  More dates to write about...

First Date with Jock

Monday, July 25, 2011

Second date with Big Nose

This time, we agree to meet at the same place, on that Friday when we really were supposed to meet. As I answer the door I introduce myself as Sober ******. I'm going to have to give myself a code name for this...I'll ponder that later.  He laughs.  Great laugh. And cute as can be.

I tell him that I don't remember much of our last meeting, so there is a good chance that we will be having repeat questions and answers.  We decide this time it would be best to walk, not drive.  I feel bad though because he has this awful burn on his leg from softball.  But he assures me he is ok to walk. At one point he ran into a mirror of a van.  Ha.  Funny.  But it made me feel even worse.  Poor guy.

He hadn't eaten dinner that night.  I had. So the tables were turned.  He got drunk, and I was sober.  He makes me laugh because he sings along to all the cheesy 90s rap songs, and even some current ones.  He just didn't seem like the kind of guy that would know ALL the words to those songs.  I mean, I didn't even know half the words.  So he is a cute drunk. A happy cute drunk.  The best kind. 

We walk back to my place, and he holds my hand.  Which is sweet.  That usually doesn't happen with me.  Guys don't just grab my hand and hold it.  But he did.  So that was nice. It's a long walk.  That's a long time to hold hands.  And if you know me, I don't even like to be hugged.  But whatever.  It was nice.

Get back to my place...same deal. Except...this time I'm the sober one.  So it was much more fun for me to be in control.

Wake up the next morning and I see he has a full back tat.  And this could be giving out a lot of personal information by writing about this...but let's just say it was an X-Men. I tried my hardest not to laugh out loud.  And asked, is this tat what I think it is?  "Yes, you don't remember from last Friday?" Well of course not, I was smashed!  Very funny...and I want to sneak and take a pic of it...but that isn't so easy.  It was nice waking up with him there, instead of him leaving. And he didn't want to leave.  More messing around.  And it's fantastic. 

Turns out..I actually had to kick him out at 8 am because I had a date with another guy who would be there in two hours.  And I told that guy I don't kiss on the first date (AND I DON'T-except with Big Nose I did..) so you can imagine me panicking thinking they would run into each other.  So sadly, I had to push Big Nose out the door. I really want to call him by the X-men name.  I wonder if I called it out during sex if it would turn him on?  Ha.

First Date with Big Nose

Let me first start by saying I will never give out anyone's real name or information.

So, my first date with Big Nose.

We had planned on meeting in a week, on a Friday at my local cafe/bar.  But on the Friday before, I discovered how many nice men there are in Denver willing to buy a girl a shot.  Well, several Red Bull and Vodkas and many many shots later, I sent Big Nose a text.  I wish I had saved those texts, because according to him, they were very hard to decipher. I ended up asking him to come meet me that night instead a week from then.  He agreed, and somehow managed to find me through my typos via text.

We meet.  Big Nose.  Not so big big that it is unattractive.  Just a big nose.  And amazing hair. Amazing dark thick hair.  I see him and give him a hug. He is my height...maybe an inch, half an inch taller (so he lied on his profile?  Or I don't know my real height.) I believe we went to a private area to talk and drink some more.  I found out later that I spilled my whole life story to him in that sitting, and he pretty much did the same thing.  That's a big no-no in my book.  But I blame it on the shots.

At some point I ended up kissing him.  I'm sure he was grosed out because I am a smoker (currently on the path to quit-woohoo!!).  So as the night ended he said he would follow me home to make sure I got in alright.  Well, he did.  But he didn't leave at the door.  I pulled him in...and well things got heated.  He said he had to leave around 2am maybe, and I thought, eh. OK.  A one nighter.  Not really my style (I say that grinning..and laughing, becuase I won't happens).

I'm in target shopping the next morning, when he sends me a text.  "Mornin"  whoa.  Shocker. I had to ask him a few questions about what happened because I couldn't remember all the details.  But, he said he wanted to get together again.  Hmm...not a typical guy in my opinion, at least not from experience.  I agreed to the second date....which I will write about more the stories just get better and better from Big Nose.

My advice girls: don't drink and text.  I want an app on my phone that asks me a series of questions to find out how drunk I am.  If I am over the legal limit-it won't let me text a dude. And obviously don't drink and drive.  He said I was doing 50 in a 25.  Thank god I didn't get busted for that.