So, I started this blog thinking it was going to be about first dates. Well, that isn't realistic. What constitutes a date? Both people saying it is a date? Or just doing something spontaneous? This blog is going to turn into my life with men.
Ah. The Jew. If you don't know, which I'm quite sure you do, I am half Jewish. Technically, there is no such thing. But I am. It has always been this crazy funny inside joke with friends. The Jewish Princess. JP for short.
So there I am sitting at my local bar...(I know..I know)...it is a Wednesday. Early evening. I was supposed to meet someone maybe and got stood up. Can't remember exactly. Because, as I said before, the drinks come flying my way at that place. It's Poker Night. Fun. But I'm not there is gamble. I would like a drink, and then I would like to go home and continue the job search. I find the ONE empty seat, and see a yoga mat in front of it. Who leaves their yoga mat just sitting there? A gambler? A girl? I don't know. But there isn't a drink or any other sign someone is sitting there. So, I sit.
Went for beer that night. It was cheaper than my Red Bull habit. I'm watching the Rockies game and the St. Louis game. I'm in heaven. Both games are getting good. Even with my stupid glasses I still can't read the score, so I turn to the guy next to me, who happens to be the cook, and say, does that say 8 to 8? "No, 5 to 5". Why did I spend so much money on these things??
Few more beers, free shots later, he turns to me and says, "Hey, you are that Jewish girl."
"Um, what? That's creepy. How do you know that?"
"I saw your card the other night, and noticed the last name _____." An obvious Jewish last name. There is only one other time in my life someone pointed out they knew I was Jewish from last name. I was in 6th grade and it was my teacher. "Are you Jewish?" "Well, no, not really." Hard for a 6th grader to explain that her mother is Presbyterian and her father is Jewish. They are divorced. But somehow, she, I, got stuck with the name.
"Ah," I say.
"I'm Jewish too. My name is ____ Jewish Last Name". Interesting. Ok. Then..he starts speaking to me in Hebrew. And it's 6th grade all over again. Do I have to explain?
"I don't really know Hebrew."
"No, its cool. I was in Israel for a year." Score!
"What do you do?"
"I go to Johnson and Wales."
"No kidding. I have a friend that goes there...you may know her ________". This is getting strange. As she was my former boyfriends close friend. And Denver is too big of a city, I thought.
"Oh yeah, she is a sophomore."
"Yup, that's her alright. Well, I have to say, you are a good cook, because those quesadillas were killer the other night that you made. I had them when you weren't working, and there really was a big difference."
"Yeah, I know what I'm doing". Haha. A bit cocky. But whatever. He finds out more about me. We keep talking. He is funny. And charming. And tall. And a a Jew. And a cook. I mean come on. Cool guy. Then the bombshell. "So Jewish Princess, I am 21." eeek. Seriously? ugh.
But mind you, I'm having fun. I've just met two girls that work at the bar, and they are all friends. So we all end up drinking more together.
I find out that it was his yoga mat and he does yoga there on Wednesdays and then comes up for a drink while his buddy plays poker.
At one point in the evening, "So Jewish Princess, do you smoke pot?" Granted. He doesn't really call me Jewish Princess. He says my name, my whole name...every time. Sigh.....no. I don't. And sometimes I wonder if I didn't turn out to be a teacher if I would. I mean. It's pot. It isn't heroine or crack. It's pot. But I don't. So there you have it. He isn't bothered by it at all. And I'm not bothered by the fact that he leaves with his buddy every 30 minutes and returns more buzzed. Its quite funny actually.
At one point, we are all standing around, and he comes up behind me and does some trick with matches. Ha. Great. Immature. But I'm totally entertained by this kid.
At another point I believe he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Or something. Maybe he was going to show me something, like the fireplace. I don't recall. But we do make it down to the grill area where there is a fire place. We make out. I love how every single one of my friends has a different definition for "making out". I have my own. I'm not telling you though, because then I would have to kill you.
As it gets later, somehow or another him and his roommate and I are going back to my place. And I think it was to pick up a bottle of wine and go hang out with the other girls. We get into my place, and I go to use the restroom. When I come out, they are gone. REALLY! What is that about? I shrug it off, and go to bed. I wake up in the morning and replay the previous evening events. Oh no. What if they stole something?! I look around. There isn't much to steal. Especially nothing of value. Then I remember the wine. I open my wine cabinet and look. I don't really know how many bottles I have. And I can't really tell if any is missing. Oh well.
I promised the girls that I would come back up to the bar that afternoon for lunch because they told me Thursdays day shifts are horribly boring. And what do I have to do?
Hanging out up there, the Jew and his buddy come walking..almost running in towards me.
"Thank god you are here. We really hoped you would be here."
"Umm, ok. Here I am."
"We did something really bad last night." Ya think? You left my place while I was peeing.
"No. Worse than that."
Jew walks up with his back pack, and can't even look me in the face.
"What the hell did you take?"
Buddy pulls out a bottle of chard from NC that I was saving..along with my FAVORITE wine tool and says, "We took this." Really? You took one of the FEW white wines I have that wasn't chilled...why not take a red? Weirdos.
Best part though. The wine wasn't opened. They had enough sense to run out of my place with my wine..but not enough sense to drink it? Or enough guilt to not drink it?
Weird. Weird. Weird boys. That's what you get for hanging out with someone that young. The girls are highly amused by it. And quite frankly, I was having a horrible day. So I was amused too. I lost my keys that night (found them under my mat int he entry way...guess I dropped them. I also lost my glasses that night. I will get to that later...
On my third date with Big Nose, we ended up at that bar. And Jew was just getting off. I put up my hand and waved. Hi Jewish Princess. I told Big Nose the story earlier that day (minus the making out part). He asked, "is that one of the wine thieves?" Haha. How'd he know? Big Nose and I decide to walk around. And I stop by the grill pit. I wonder....and sure enough MY GLASSES! I went several days without those things. I can't believe they sat there that long. There were flip flops and a shirt sitting there too. Hmm..makes ya wonder how many girls Jew brings down there. Also makes me wonder if Big Nose figured out what I was really up to that night. We'll see if there is a fourth date with Big Nose.
Tomorrow is Wednesday. I wonder if there will be another Jew Wine Stealing Evening.