Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Break Up with the Half Jew

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.  ~Rosa Parks
He wasn't inspiring or particularly interesting. There was no deep meaningful connection. So, I'm not at all surprised to see that it ended. 

The fact that I haven't had anything to say about him in nearly two months pretty much sums it up.  I can't help but think of how things were with Little Lion Man.  I was giddy.  I had butterflies in my stomach.  I ached to talk to him every minute of every day.  Not a single feeling like that for the Half Jew. 

But I will say, it doesn't feel good.  It doesn't feel good to know you aren't wanted.  You aren't desired.  You aren't worthy. I've had this black cloud over my head for several months.  It just got a lot darker. Little Lion Man's family has pushed me out of their lives. I haven't met new people in a while.... I don't have a real job.  I'm running out of money. Sometimes I wonder if moving out here was a mistake.  I'm terribly homesick.  I miss my friends.  I miss my old job.  I can't believe I am actually thinking this...but damn do I miss the humidity.  I wake up every morning with cotton mouth.

Half Jew was a distraction.  He was a distraction from my life. 


  1. The last sentence hits home with me.

    looking forward to reading more


  2. I just wanted to wish you good luck. As someone who is living somewhere new and struggling to make more connections I feel for you.

    Thank you btw for following me at Surviving 20-Something. I hope you can follow me over at my new blog: