My Date with Denali

Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.  ~Anna Fellows Johnston

For a few weeks I sort of swore off dating.  It wasn't bad, I was just starting to feel like it was a waste of time.  Also, men on POF starting messaging me not realizing they had messaged me last month, when I told them I was not interested.  

After reading another blog, I came across another dating site, OkCupid.com. I thought I would give it a shot.  I actually like it a lot more than POF.  Much more more user friendly.  And you can quickly tell who is serious about dating, and who isn't.  

Two weeks ago, Denali sent me a message:

If Bigfoot chased you whilst on a scooter with a cup of coffee...um, don't buy ripe bannanas that day:) 

Needless to say, I decided I would go out with him. We agreed on Korean BBQ after having a long talk about southern food and Japanese food.  

Meeting him at the restaurant, I saw he drove a truck, but didn't give it a second thought.  


I knew going into this date, that he wasn't the most attractive man I've ever seen, but his humor was a huge turn on.  He is tall and looks as Italian as it gets. I found out he has his own real estate business but he wants to go to law school.  We talked about the politics of education and he showed a clear respect for educators, knowing quite a lot about the public school system in Colorado.  

Our meal was fantastic.  Expensive, but fantastic.  We ended up heading to a bar after, where I did not run into Jew!  We talked for a few hours. By midnight I was crashing.  After spending an entire day at a wine festival and then having an extravagant meal, I was done.  I drove him back to his truck.  

It was awkward...really awkward.  He gave me a high five...and I laughed my ass off.  Then he hugged me, which doesn't really work when you are sitting in a truck.  So then he got out, opened my door and planted one on me.  I wasn't really expecting it, but there ya go.  Kiss on a first date.  I think I need to throw that rule out the window. 

As I pulled away, I noticed his truck was a Denali.....a newer, prettier version of my Beast.  

My Morning

Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe I can see the next bar I should grab.  Yup.  There it is.  In my sight.  

Stay tuned....

My Driving Trip with Big Nose

Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go. – The Wonder Years

There are a few expectations I had for Colorado.  #1: Denver is so large, you aren't going to run into people you know all the time.  Specifically, people you have slept with. 

So much for that expectation.  I was driving to see my aunt for an evening concert in the park.  I have to leave pretty early to somewhat avoid traffic.  Although, to be honest, I never can avoid it. 

I'm driving along..when BAM.  Traffic.  It comes to a stop.  Fine...whatever.  I have my music....There is an SUV in front of me, with a familiar turtle sticker.  I think, "Hmm, I've seen that before.  Wait, I've been in that car before."  Oh shit.  It's him.  Big Nose.  Really?!  He doesn't live around here.  He doesn't work around here.  What the hell??  Out of all the people I could see?!  There is so much traffic that I am sure I can lose him, without him noticing me. 

Hopeful thinking.

At one point, I've passed him, and then he passes me.  SHIT.  I watched him, and he was clearly looking in his rear view mirror.  I passed him again, thinking, "Ok, this is it, I'm going to lose him."  Nope.  I watched with horror as the lane to my left sped up, while my lane slowed down.  He passed me again, looking in his rear view mirror.  He is relatively short, so I know when he has to sit all the way up in his seat and lean forward, he is checking out the rearview mirror.  It made me nervous when I rode with him.  I wanted to scream, "JUST ADJUST THE MIRROR!" 

"Yes, dumbass, it's me.  No doubt about it.  How many people do you see driving around with NC plates??"  This continued for at least 20 minutes, maybe longer.  It sure did feel longer.  I passed him.  He passed me.  All the while, I pretended not to notice him.  But, he clearly knew it was me.  I could feel his eyes burning holes in me. 

To my point:

He is the one that blew me off.  Not me.  HIM.  I'm not going to wave and smile, and act like everything is OK.  Because its not.  He blew me off.  I don't play. My aunt and I actually had a conversation about people who are unreliable.  She asked me, 'How come you always come when you say you will, but my other friends don't?"  Easy answer, "One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blows me off.  So, I'm not about to do it to someone else."

I'm thrilled.  "It's a great hair day.  I feel skinny.  My make up looks great.  I'm wearing my sexy sunglasses. I look hot.  So take that, Big Nose!  You are missing out!" 

I finally took my exit, losing him.....

How is it possible that I can run into people I know, in this massive city?!  I mean, COME ON!  Give me a break.  I had finally forgotten about him...and then BAM.  He's there. 

The article from earlier today put things into perspective though.  I've let go of him, of that bar.  I'm flying now.  No going back.  No going back, trying to grab that bar.  It's gone.  And if I try to reach for it, I will surely fall....and I'm not willing to fall.  I'm waiting for the next bar....   

Peace out Big Nose. 

My Day/Week/Month/Year? of Flying Through the Air

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. -Charles Darwin

While trolling the internet for worthy blogs to read, I came across Jenny.  She used to worked for Google for 5 and half years and then quit to pursue her dreams.  She is currently a speaker, coach and author. In one of her vlog posts, she mentions this article. It is about how we go through life holding onto one trapeze bar.  We hold on tight because we are comfortable and relaxed there.  We can even become paralyzed by fear.  Eventually, we know we are going to have to let go because change is coming. We will have to swing to the next bar we can't even see yet.  And it's in that moment, flying through the air, we make the biggest growth. 

At the moment, I am flying through the air.  I quit the most stable job I have ever had, to move back to Colorado.  I left many friends behind. I moved without knowing what was going to happen in the next week, month or year.  I didn't let the uncertainty paralyze me. And during this time, I have had the opportunity to reflect on my life, who I am, what makes me tick, what makes me smile.  This can be applied to all aspects of my life; family, friends, money, dating, etc.

Jenny mentions how we know what we should do in our hearts, but our mind tends to take over the practical matters, limiting what we actually do. I allowed my heart to take over to bring me to this place.  I knew I was sacrificing a job, money, benefits, and stability.  And I still don't know what's around the corner.  But here I am. Living my life. Perfectly happy with the choice I made.   I had the courage to let go of the first bar and I'm thrilled to know the second bar is right around the corner...

What change or transitions are you going through, or will be going through? 

My Day of Unintentionally Shopping for Men at the Grocery Store

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.  ~Bo Derek

Who would have thought I would be inspired to write from a trip to the grocery store? Today's trip proved to be quite enjoyable for me.  Normally, I can't stand it.  I hate crowds of shoppers.  

To understand my local grocery store, you have to understand my neighborhood.  It is a mix between Little Cuba, Little Mexico and Little Korea. The neighborhood is also relatively poor (me included).   I have to be careful which days I choose to go shopping because some days are WIC days and some are food stamp days.  On those days, there aren't any shopping carts left.  


Today was not a WIC or food stamp day.  When I walked in the store I saw rows upon rows of empty shopping carts.   YES!  I head to produce first, digging through my purse for my coupons and list.  I see a very attractive guy with another guy who looks to be handicapped. They are different races so I doubt they are related.  Eavesdropping on their conversation, I get the impression that they are shopping for a large group of people.  Maybe some kind of halfway house? Whatever it is, the attractive guy is either volunteering or he is actually getting paid to help people.  Throughout the entire shopping trip we keep bumping into each other.  No complaints here though.  Days like this, I really wish I had the balls to approach men.  


Last week there was a flood at the front of the store, making it all but impossible to navigate the isles. It took all the employees to mop it up. Today? In the deli section, a large display of refrigerated meat had fallen. And it took nearly half the employees to clean it up.  


Laughing over the pathetic shape of the store, I went on to the cereal isle.  This isle can be my worst nightmare.  I really want to grab Lucky Charms, maybe even 5 boxes.  But I know Fiber One is the better choice.  Oh hey!  Out of Fiber One.  Last week they were out of Cherrios.  I start to get a little frustrated when HELLO.  Attractive guy #2 comes down the isle.  He is dark, Italian dark.  5 o'clock shadow.  White t-shirt.  Jeans.  Thick hair.  What is this?  In NC, I would be lucky to see ONE attractive guy at the grocery store.  I make a mental note that Tuesday is the day to go shopping.  


As I stare at my endless choices of cereal, he does the same.  It seems like a lifetime.  Really?!  Why can't I just walk up and say something cheesy about the cereal.  Why??  I finally decide on Cherrios and move on to the dairy section, leaving attractive guy #2 behind.  


Rummaging through my coupons, a man walks up to me.  "Excuse me." "Yes?" He pulls out his cell phone and I think he is going to ask for my number.  Not that I would give it to him.  He was much older, and clearly smoked WAY too much. "I was wondering if I could buy 20 dollars of groceries for you for 30 dollars. I really need some gas money." Quick math calculation in my head-and I didn't even ask if I was supposed to give him the extra ten, or he was giving me the extra ten.  He didn't make ANY sense.  And if you have money to buy me groceries, go put it in your tank instead.  Weirdo.  "Um, no, I don't think so."  


Back to the deli to see if they are done cleaning up so I can get my turkey.  Attractive guys #3 and #4.  Seriously.  #3 had long dreads and was a stereotypical hippie.  But he was hot.  And not nearly as stoned as the creep.  #4 was pushing around a stroller, but didn't matter.  He was hot.  And am I the only person that gets sliced turkey a quarter inch thick?  The deli guy thought I was nuts.  People use deli meat for things other than sandwiches.  Price tag-$7 a pound.  Eh, not bad.  In NC, it was typically 8.99.  I get two pounds.  Poor guy that thinks I'm nuts, hands me my turkey.  I check the sticker.  Total price-$5.32.  Wha???  "Um, is this right?" "Shh...don't tell anyone."  Was he hitting on me?  


At this point, I'm tired of shopping.  My cart is over flowing and the thought of going up to my third story apartment is exhausting.  Plus it's hot.  Really hot.  I decide to head over to the cashiers.  No lines!  Fantastic!  Tuesday must be the day to go shopping.  I see attractive guy #2 finishing his purchase. Hope I see him next Tuesday.  As the cashier is ringing up my numerous items, I see attractive guy #5 at the coin counter.  Baseball hat, tall...boot on foot.  Sports injury maybe?  He sees me watching him.  I blush.


Attractive guy#1 is in the lane next to me with his friend.  The friend is starring at me and I'm trying to stop the blushing.  Attractive guy says something to him and he stops.  

I walk out with my full cart and don't even notice all the litter and gunk in the parking lot like I usually do.  So many men!  Shopping can make you happy! Attractive guy #1 is parked next to me.  I realize I have seen the friend here at the store before, but he was with a different guy.  I really wonder what that is about.  Maybe I will find out next Tuesday....

My Evening with Geek

A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark. -Dante Alighieri

I explored downtown yesterday.  It made me realize how much I hate traffic.  Why did I think a Friday afternoon would be a good time to explore downtown?  Stupid.  But guess who I ran into?!  Jew!  I mean really, buddy.  This town isn't big enough for the both of us. I managed to make it home safely.  Not doing that again. 

Geek and I have been talking since before I moved out here.  He calls himself a geek so I'm rolling with it. We've tried meeting before, but something always came up for one or both of us.  So yesterday when he sent me a text asking if I wanted to get together for drinks, I jumped at the chance.  Although, I have to tell you, I'm getting kind of sick of all these first dates.  My best friend reminded me that it is all about experience.  So going into this date, I wasn't overly excited.  But happy to finally be meeting this guy I had been talking to for two months. 


We met at a local bar. When Geek walked in, he immediately walked over to me. I had no question about who he was. We enjoyed a few beers, had some food and decided to go for a walk. We watched the sun set over the mountains.  So cheesy.  But it was nice.  He led the conversation which put me at ease.  After the sun set, we called it a night and went to pay our tabs.  He managed to pay for mine without me noticing.  That was very nice of him.  I walked him to his car and gave him a hug and headed back to my place. Overall, it was a nice date.  He wasn't pushy and he didn't insult me like Miami did.   

I'm not sure if I would go out with Geek again.  He was very nice and I was very comfortable around him.  But there weren't any sparks.  I'm looking for sparks.  Maybe not fireworks, but there has to be something there.  And there just wasn't with Geek.  Oh well....

My evening with ME

All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together. -Jack Kerouac

 
Last night was pretty uneventful.  In fact, most of my nights are...believe it or not.  I'm getting to the point where boredom is taking over.  I've done enough shopping to put a dent in my bank account.  I've done enough cooking to gain 10 pounds.  I've done enough pool time to consider seeing a dermatologist. So basically my nights...are...well, lame.

Lately I've been having strange dreams..mostly due to the boredom.  Last night was the strangest.  I had a dream about my cousin.  The last time I spoke with him was at his wedding last summer.  Every now and then we say something on stalkerbook, but that is rare.  But last night I had a dream about him.  He was trying to get into my apartment complex.  The gate kept calling me.  I finally answered, and they said it was him.  So I tell them to let him in.  He comes to my apartment, with beer in hand.  The next thing I remember, I'm cleaning up after him (somewhat annoyed..but also realizing that's how it is).  Everywhere I look is a beer can.  A beer can for me to pick up. I wake up, remembering more than that, and make it a point to email my aunt to tell her.

I checked stalkerbook today (for the first time since Sunday..which is big for me, because I usually check it every hour).  Turns out the cousin and his wife are pregnant.  And they just found out. **Update** They might induce on my birthday!  Ha!  :)

My aunt used to tell me stories of her ESP moments with my mom.  I used to not believe it.....